"The Blue-Brown Killer"

The first chapter to my book To Catch a Killer. Samantha is forced to take on the case.

7:00 am Wednesday Samantha’s House

            “Good morning beautiful,” Samantha’s boyfriend, Ryan Somers blonde-haired, blue-eyed, man said with a kiss on the cheek to wake her up.

“Good morning,” Samantha, a brown-haired, blue-eyed, woman responded and got out of bed. She saw that Ryan was heading to the bathroom, so she grabbed the underwear she had set out last night, pushed her boyfriend out of the way and closed the door in his face. Ryan knocked on the door and Samantha opened the door and said “Yes.”

“What was that?” Ryan asked.

“I’m getting in the shower,” Samantha answered.

“That’s all you needed to say,” Ryan responded.

“No problem,” Samantha screamed and she slammed the door on his face again.

7:35 am Wednesday Samantha’s House

Samantha was ready for work she had her favorite outfit on, a pair of light gray dress pants, a light pink long-sleeved shirt, a black vest, and her favorite pair of black high heels with her hair pulled back in a high pony-tail, and her “R” necklace that Ryan had given her. She walked out into the kitchen and Ryan had a stack of three pancakes sitting on a plate there she would normally sit to eat dinner.

Ryan heard her heels stop “clicking”, so her turned around and asked “Are you cheating on me?” in a very serious fashion.

Samantha shook her head and said “You know I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“When you dress like that it makes me think otherwise,” Ryan replied in a joking manner.

“You kill me,” Samantha responded and she walked over and gave him a peck on the cheek.

“I know I do,” Ryan said and Samantha sat down at her place at the table and took a bite of one of the pancakes and Ryan asked “How do you like them?”

“You put chocolate chips and cinnamon in them,” Samantha said.

“Yup I did,” Ryan replied.

“Thanks,” Samantha said and she finished her first pancake.”

“You’re very welcome,” Ryan responded.

Samantha quickly finished her pancakes and said “Thanks for making the pancakes, but I have to get to work. Big meeting this morning,” Samantha said and she gave Ryan a quick peck on the lips and headed off to work.

8:15 am Wednesday Baltimore County Crime Lab

Samantha’s boss William Lee, the tall, chubby, brown-haired, brown-eyed, head of the Baltimore County Crime Lab, walked in and took his seat at the end of the table and said,

“As you know this is our bi-weekly meeting to discuss the direction of the lab. I know that some of you are in the middle of a case and if you are feel free to leave work and work on your cases.” At that point most of Samantha’s co-workers exited the room to work on their particular cases. All that was left in the room was Jennifer Gracey, a tall brunette with green eyes, Brian Roberts, a tall brown-eyed man with black hair, and Lily Brown, a short African American woman with bright green eyes.

“Gracey, Roberts, and Brown you’re free to leave,” Lee said and Jenn, Brian, and Lily left the room to do what they pleased. “We have been tracking a serial killer who targets blue-eyed brunettes throughout Baltimore and Harford Counties. Samantha we need bait, so will you be willing to work with the Harford County police?” Lee inquired.

“It depends,” Samantha responded and a tall, blonde-haired, brown-eyed man.

“Samantha, this is Derek Eagle he is the Harford County Crime Lab Director,” Lee said and Samantha stood up and shook hands with Eagle.

”She fits the profile,” Eagle said.

“Excuse me,” Samantha replied.

“As I’m sure Lee here already told you that “The Blue-Brown Killer” targets women with blonde hair and blue eyes in the Baltimore area, and you fit that profile,” Eagle explained.

“And you just want me to drop everything I’m doing to come and help you find this killer?” Samantha said.

“Kind of. Yeah,” Eagle said.

“I can’t just leave and go undercover and find you a serial killer,” Samantha pleaded

“Yes you can,” Lee interjected.

“Why?” Samantha asked angrily.

“Because it’s an order,” Lee responded.

“When do I start?” Samantha responded.

“Meet me tomorrow morning at the Harford County Crime Lab at 8:00,” Eagle said.

“Yes sir,” Samantha replied.

 

Author's Note

Did you like it?
More is coming... eventually. No promises.

Reviews

[Aradescent]

I have read a lot of books and from just that in experience I would suggest that you don't write down what the person looks like after what they say. Like the first two lines..brown haired blue eyed woman. It's always good to leave the reader guessing what each character looks like...and it gives you more words. For example it could've been put this way: "Good morning beautiful," Ryan kissed Samantha on the cheek, softly. His blond hair shimmered in the sunlight beaming through the bedroom window.
Samantha rolled over, a smile plastered to her face. Ryan always woke her up with a soft whisper and a gentle kiss. She squinted her eyes, trying to bring them to focus. His dark blue eyes gazed into her equally blue eyes. --- I don't know something similar to that. In the first paragraph it sounds as if Samantha isn't really in love with Ryan. She seems irritated and mean to him. I would make that first part more elaborate...kind of build the relationship between Ryan and Samantha. It seems like it has potential to be a great idea...I'd research it a little more. My favorite thing is to research things on the internet..it helps a lot.
I notice on your page you ask people for inspiration and ideas. I've gotten some advice from a published writer and she said it's always a bad idea to take any one else's ideas. Ideas come from movies you watch, books you read, or anywhere you go. Just a thought, good luck with everything.

[poetic-raven2012]

Beccccca. You are leavvvvvving me.
You must post.
=]
Oh!!! I can see! I finally got them, I must dive bomb your house soon.

[poetic-raven2012]

Heeheehee. Yay Becca for posting! I'm intrigued by this sort of err, relations between Sam and Eagle, but I have to warn you about the difference between Brain and Brian. You do that a lot, but props for letting me beta while we're on the phone
=)
I'd say take out the no promises note, and say that you'll post if people like it, because there is a way to rate stories on here after you review. That kind of makes it seem like you're not very motivated or inspired to continue and/or finish the story.
And instead of did, I would say do.
Semantics, I know.
But that's why you love your jenn-beta-person =)
Post soon-I'm going to follow this one closely, and may I suggest entering this in some contest in here?
Ooooh! Guess what? So you know how I'm taking Creative Writing next year? Well, Mr. Jones said that he'll give me an official list of BCPS/MD/Regional/National contests we can enter AND dum-dum-dum...one of the huge ones involves a trip to MIAMI (screams excitedly) to present and recieve an award!!!
(They're open to all BCPS kids!!!! You must enter a million contests with me, lol.)
This is getting ridiculously long, so call me later and we can have our scream fest!
Luvs you-
~~Jenn~~