Within Me

Within Me

I don't belong to anyone nor anything

I'm not a name nor an age 

Not a height, nor a weight 

I'm free, but I believe in fate 

No I'm not black nor white 

Yes I love day, but I even love night 

I'm a soul with all it's complications 

I get angry, I lose my patience

You know how is it like living in instability, wearing a smile with it's vulnerability?

I'm a dream with a doubt 

A silent shout 

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the real us inside...shouts loud but no one really hears, they tend to analyze us and pigeonhole us into a category, put us among stereotypes...when really we are our own person...the individual ...the one grouped with all the others that he or she is not really like at all...

a very well presented image of what we often fail to see within a person...

j.

[Rachel Rashid]

I'm really happy and honored because you liked it. That's what I meant exactly in this piece, people tend to categorize and define us in a superficial way and that's dehumanizing us and freeing us from our true us..

[Antoñyo]

Awesome and CLEVER piece. First post here, but can't be first attempt.

Thanks for the 100/100 share!

[Rachel Rashid]

Well it was just a way of expressing my feelings nowadays and I really loved that and your reviews make me wanna keep on doing this! Thanks a lot

[Antoñyo]

Trust me, it's very important to express them somewhere other than deep inside, if only on paper (or e-paper)....so yeah, there's another reason (besides the obvious natural talent) to keep on writing.

[John Stussy]

Excellent expression of a varied and vibrant persona. Absolutely love those last two lines, they made for a strong finish. Awesome poem, thanks for sharing.

[Rachel Rashid]

Thanks a lot I really appreciate that

[John Stussy]

The only improvement I could see for this piece that stood out is that the lines "You know how is it like living in instability, wearing a smile with it's vulnerability?" should be split after instability into two lines. It'll help the flow run smoother, and make the piece more aesthetic.

[Rachel Rashid]

Yes I felt that there's something not so right in that sentence, thanks for your opinion it really helps

[John Stussy]

No problem, keep at it.