Show me

Show me how to move on, how to stop feeling this way.

Show me how to walk away when I still want you so much.

Show me how to say goodbye to someone who's still alive.

Show me how to forget you, to erase the pain in my chest.

I don't know how to let you go when I still want you to stay.

It hurts so much,

I can't breathe without you here.

How do I stop missing you when everything reminds me of you?

How do I stop caring

when you're still the only one in my heart?

I want to let go, but it's so hard.

Please,

Show me how.

Show me how to stop wanting you.

Because I still care for you,

and I don't know how to stop.

Reviews

[Belle]

Your words carry a raw, aching honesty
the tension between wanting to hold on and needing to let go is palpable.
Your poem captures the desperatetender struggle of loving someone while trying to release them
voicing the confusion, pain, and longing that so many feel but rarely express.
Even in this vulnerability, there is a strength in asking for guidance -- a first step toward healing while honoring the depth of your care...

[John the Baptist]

Sounds like an addiction. What you really are doesn't need this grief.

[JayG]

You need to ask yourself, "What's in it for the reader?" To them, this is you talking TO someone unknown about the result of things unspecified, and, basically, making your point...amplifying your point...driving your point home...pounding your point into the dirt...smashing your point to pieces...and...

My point is that you're talking TO a reader who wants you to involve them, and make them care, not just say, "Uh-huh."

Don't, for example, tell the reader that you cried. Instead, give the READER a reason to weep. make it as personal for them as it is for you.

But...you can't do that with the approach to writing we learn in school because it's designed to inform, and is meant to be used for the reports, letters, and other nonfiction that employers need from us. The emotion-based and character-centric skills of both poetry and fiction, like any profession, must be acquired in addition to that.

But because we forget that poetry and fiction are professions, and because the pros in both make it seem so natural and easy to create, we never go looking. And because our own writing workers for us, here you are, with a problem you don't see as being one.

Keep writing, of course. But while you do, dig into a good book on the skills of poetry, like Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook.

For metrical poetry, you might want to read the excerpt from Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled, on Amazon.

Sorry that this is so far from what you hoped to hear. But because you begin reading already knowing all the whys and whens of the situation, it works as you hope it will, and brings strong emotion to your mind that the reader hasn't the context needed to react. And since you'll not address the problem you don't see as being one, I thought you might want to know.

[Buddhistboy73]

A heartfelt and emotive write about saying goodbye to a loved one....

I like the way you engage the reader in this mini-movie .....show me how to say goodbye.....

thanks for sharing this ...:)

BB73