Bounderby Syndrome

Oliver Twist scored his

place in our hearts as

the orphan who earned,

through hardship,

the life and love he deserved,

leaving no pity to bleed

for those who achieve

through effort

because deep down we believe

that if you’ve got it,

you ripped off somebody

and if you haven’t

then it should be

handed over on a shiny plate.

 

Working class heroes have been

a constant collective favourite,

but now that's taken to the extreme

so that the rich make rips

in designer jeans

and talk cockney like

all the presenters on TV; twist

their indulgent mothers into

witches cackling outside cages;

expensive schools morph,

become overcrowded zoos

until their lives are like

defaced textbook pages:

scrawled myths blacking out truth

solidifying into history over the ages,

occupying us more than real information.

 

Pasts mentally splintered into versions.

 

You see people at parties blushing,

embarrassed for not having been abused,

which must mean their childhood was cushioned;

the problem is, each time everyone assumes

this, there’ll be someone easily influenced,

confused as they exit crowded rooms –

maybe a kid whose innocence

was violated prematurely (or overdue

if you’re of this mind that reality

is dark…coloured like a bruise;

experience fisted into infancy).

So fear that their secret might erupt

will be coupled with new belief

that people might misconceive an overflowing cup

from any determination to succeed

 

and that is why so many kids

are blatantly fucked up.

 

Author's Note

This is the old lay-out because I haven't got the right disk at work with me.
Does the message get across? What else do you think about it? Thanks.

Reviews

[Bubo]

handed over on shiny plate. (handed on a .....)
the problem is, each time everyone assumes
this, (think u could drop this)

Started light hearted and sank into a pretty deep piece...........
well for me anyway.........and what a wallop of a punch line at the end
I think there is so much here in your words..........social misfits some are
and some do cover up a painful past masking it with success...........
I thought the flow was great, except the 2 bits I picked out, but I can
be the worlds worst reviewer!

You see people at parties blushing,
embarrassed for not having been abused,
which must mean childhood was cushioned;
the problem is, each time everyone assumes

I loved this........we humans are complex subjects, thank
god i don't attend many parties!

so that the rich make rips
in designer jeans
and talk cockney like
all the presenters on TV; twist
their indulgent mothers into
witches cackling outside cages;

The imagary in this was fab, made me laugh!How true!
Really enjoyable piece!

[O!]

Oliver Twist scored his
place in our hearts as
the orphan who earned,
through hardship,
the life and love he deserved,
leaving no pity to bleed
for those who achieve
through effort

- nice how u use a character that (almost) everyone knows of, instead of talking about 'just someone' who made it thru' hardship....makes ur point solid...coz ppl usually want something they can identify with.....

because deep down we believe
that if you�ve got it,
you ripped off somebody
and if you haven�t
then it should be
handed over on a shiny plate.

- then the transistion to the other end of wealth....with thoughts ppl who are usually skeptical about those who have made it...or 'floated' upon :-P......
-and if you haven't, then it should be (u mean must have been? - then it surely was???) handed over on a shiny plate.

Working class heroes have been
a constant collective favourite,
but now that's taken to the extreme
so that the rich make rips
in designer jeans
and talk cockney like
the presenters on TV; twist
their indulgent mothers into
witches cackling outside cages;
expensive schools morph,
become overcrowded zoos...
until their lives are like
graffitied textbook pages:
scrawled myths blacking out truth
solidify into history over the ages,
occupying us more than real information.

- celebs!!

Pasts mentally splintered into versions.

- dirty pasts dug up ...or made

You see people at parties blushing,
embarrassed for not having been abused,
which must mean childhood was cushioned;
the problem is, each time everyone assumes
this, there�ll be someone easily influenced,
confused as they exit crowded rooms �
maybe a kid whose innocence
was violated prematurely (or overdue
if you�re of this mind that reality
is dark�coloured like a bruise;
experience fisted into infancy).
So fear that their secret might erupt
will be coupled with the belief
that people might misconceive an overflowing cup
from their determination to succeed

- then here a verse that shows that ppl, whoever and wherever they are....always try to fit in...

and that�s why so many kids
are blatantly fucked up.

- so be it poor or rich, seeing that everyone tries to fit into a certain 'scene'.......so yeah....the end is what u talk about...but i do believe that the adults are the one's who are the real cuckoos!! :-P

x
O!

[Goodbyeguilt]

This has given me something to think about.

There is some truth here for me, particularly in the lines: 'You see people at parties blushing,
embarrassed for not having been abused,
which must mean childhood was cushioned;' as I find people scrabbling to find faults within their childhoods to fit in with the 'Abused and Lonely' crowds.

I can't say much about the rest as I am actually quite s**t at reviews.

Very awesome though.
A sociologists dream come true :D

GBG - Leah

[Narnie]

I think this works well but the key to it for me is in the last two lines... (I know thats in direct contradiction to a review below but Im sorry, it's just how I feel). It packs in a hell of a social commentary to direct effect. I do agree that there needs to be some suggestion of the few who oppose the view and try to live against it, if only from the point of view that too many would dismiss the work as extremist rather than the acute observation on the morality breakdown. To this end I would be interested to see if it could be condensed... even if only as an exercise. Excellent brain food - congrats.

[Aaron J. Wald]

yes, I agree. Most kids end up fucked up.

The rich because of being protected from life by the cushioning of money... but having no love.
The poor because of the lack of protection, and having an easier access to the wicked world at such a young age: not even able to create a fantasy.
The mid class, becuase of Over protection and fear. Fear sheds to suclusion and then to depression.

I agree with you. Maybe not on the fine points, but I agree. You put this vivid image in my mind of oliver twist... that has many of these things in it. But it's curious to me why you used him instead of just a lonely orphan. Because our society is, point blank, stupid to literature. But I'm also a disgruntled american.

[Cope Hayden]

First i would seriously think about omitting the last two lines. They sort of cheapen the rest of the poem, which is really wealthy in good metaphors and observations.

"and talk cockney like
all the presenters on TV"
-Think about rephrasing maybe? Maybe "presenters" is a bad choice of word. I think the two lines could work if you could fit something better in there.

Having said all that, i really enjoyed this poem. Some good observations that make you think after reading it.

[Anthony Morningstar]

Nah I don't get tripped on this. I don't know if it's completly true. easy to point out others errors I know but harder still to find solutions to the problems at hand.