native

i am a native

a phoenician,

a re-ashed, rehashed and rehearsed play on words

 

and i’ve heard people say

that the heat here is

unbearable;

 

but i was born into it during

the deceptive month of december

and like the proverbial frog in hot water…

 

didn’t notice that cool

54 degrees gradually gave way

to julian heat waves where

 

triplicate digits

all middle fingers

raised to the heavens like a

 

sweltering “f**k you” salute

to the summer sun.

 

Reviews

[Emily B]

It may have been written during an earlier period of your life, but it is still VERY good.

There are young poets everywhere, still in their pretentious period, who will latch on to work like this and wave it in the air, a banner for everything they believe in.

I'm glad you've decided to dust it off and share it here. :)

[alan peter kelly]

power packed and i dig the religious references and alliteration

[holly]

I got a real bang out of this! Loved the word play, the sort of snarkiness throughout and the ending. The poem tripped lightly on the tongue from start to finish, and is a good example of how we start using the various poetic tools we're taught.

[JP thinks the WC is apt..]

I really like the patterns you've woven into the words here - the internal rhymes and aliteration. As for the meaning, I took it to mean a transition into something much less comfortable. You've left your comfort zone behind in search for something, but you need to acclimatise and fast. The final lines are just ace: 'a sweltering "f**k you" salute to the summer sun.' The reader slides across it - and wants to join you in shouting at the sky.

[Sel Whiteley]

Powerful stuff. Well-written you can really see the resilience the persona developed simply by not knowing there was any alternative. I love the way you use the metaphors. Hot water, a classic symbol, reframed. I love the image of the frog.

[Raef C. Boylan]

Who could resist dipping into their hero's past pretentions?
This is still better than any of my 'honest' work, especially in terms of presentation and attention paid to the art of wording. Some very strong images; digging the youthful rage haha.
Any chance you can make me feel better and share a poem you wrote long ago featuring rhyming lines such as 'love...above', 'cat...rat...mat' or similar? Or were you born a genius? :-)

Even though I like it a lot, I can understand where you're coming from by calling it pretentious, as it lacks a solid message; it's more about sounding off...but you did it beautifully.

[Gandré]

now, this is reall post-modern.. existentialists would smile at you. your approach which is emphasizing the existence of human as a free agent determining his own development through the act of the will. now this was existencia.