2025- The journey restarts ..

The journey continues ... I hope I would not encounter as much disappointments

I came into work peaceful, but I think I had been thinking too much, or maybe it was a side effect of the medication I took"one of the side effects is anxiety or nervousness. But in essence, what I felt more than anything was anger and bitterness at the people who thought blocking my way in modelling was acceptable. They sometimes do that to shape your character so you are grateful for the opportunities you are given, but I felt my own fate regarding modelling was overkill.

Behind the frustration, I masked it with a fighting spirit. I refuse for anyone to deplete my energy. I can’t talk to anyone, so this is where I have found my healing"writing. I heard a voice telling me that I must research the closest agencies to me. Bear in mind that I was at work. So I did. One agency popped up"I had been to that agency before, and they never got back to me about my application. That was about five years ago, but I decided to give it a try.

I took an Uber to the place and showed up, only to be told that I needed to apply online. I honestly thought that girl was very snobbish, and the fact that I was there was not because I didn’t know I should apply onlin .it was for effort and to be seen in real time. All four women just didn’t give me the time of day. What choice did I have? I stepped out. I felt like crying. A wave of sadness and anger clouded my thoughts.

Then I thought to myself that maybe there would be one closer by… indeed, there was...even closer to my workplace. So I took another taxi to the location, determined to get more than a mild, uninterested, lazy response from a bunch of women. I was so angry. I can’t explain how their responses broke my heart. I always try my best. It reminded me of why I took a break from modelling: people were in charge of your progress, whether you liked it or not. I hated that reality. I hated them too.

So I arrived and asked for some directions. The security men helped me navigate my way to the place, and in no time I was at the office. I was greeted by two people: one white man and an African lady"she looked like a model too. The surroundings resembled a typical model office: magazine spreads, editorials, and other beautiful works of photography. I asked who I could speak to in order to join the agency. Guess what they told me? The African lady politely replied and said I should apply online.

I literally sighed in front of them. I actually wanted to die. I was so defeated. ONLINE AGAIN???? HA? YHO! They saw my reaction, and then the white man said, “The model season is about to end, but just apply online.” Then the African lady added, “Everyone needs to see the application to make a decision.” And it was at that time that I understood. I mean, I always did, but her saying that calmed me down.

I asked for their card, and the man handed it to me, and I left. I actually thought these people would do more than just send me back�"that’s why I was unhappy. But at least the second group of people were not tired… so that counts for something, at least.

I went back to work, and on my way, I promised myself that I would complete the application. Then an idea came to mind. Something told me I should write something that resembled a motivational letter. The reason for this letter would be to highlight my achievements as well as my struggles in modelling, in hopes that they wouldn’t turn me away.

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So this is how I drafted my email, I poured out my heart. What do I wish for? A new beginning. If they can understand why, I would be happy...

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Good Afternoon,

My name is Rachael Matsaung, and I am writing to express my interest in joining your agency. I have been in the modelling industry since 2015, beginning my career in Durban, and throughout the years I have dedicated myself wholeheartedly to this path.

My journey has not been easy. At times, I felt blocked, overlooked, and even defeated"to the point of taking a break from modelling altogether. In those moments, I turned to another artistic passion, music, which reminded me of the power of creativity and taught me resilience. Still, despite the challenges, modelling has never left my heart.

When I recently came to your offices, I was initially discouraged at being told to apply online. At that moment, it felt as though doors kept closing in my face, as they often had in the past. However, when your team explained that the application must be reviewed collectively to ensure fairness, I felt a sense of reassurance. For the first time, I understood that the process is not about dismissal but about ensuring every model is given equal consideration. That gave me the motivation to write this letter.

Over the years, I have taken part in three Fashion Weeks and countless auditions, and though the progress sometimes felt slower than I hoped, I never lost my fighting spirit. Many people I started out with have given up, but I am still here, standing strong, ready to contribute my passion, discipline, and creativity to an agency that believes in me.

Now that I have relocated to Johannesburg, I see this as a fresh start"a chance to build on the foundation I have already laid, with new opportunities, in a new environment, and with new energy. I am ready to work, to grow, and to be guided by the right people in the right direction.

Thank you for considering my application. I hope that my journey"with its achievements, setbacks, and unshakable determination"will show you that I am committed not only to modelling but also to inspiring others through it.

Warm regards,
Rachael Matsaung