Widow by the Sea

A Villanelle done in Iambic Tetrameter.

 

Each day the tide returns to me,

The waves of water sweep ashore

Setting yesterday’s footsteps free.

 

There is no ship upon the sea.

No matter what I might implore

Each day the tide returns to me.

 

Bellowing sails I ache to see

Bringing him to me as he swore,

Setting yesterday’s footsteps free.

 

Poseidon listen to my plea.

My heart’s beat is empty and sore

Each day the tide returns to me.

 

Sailing on the wind, banshees

Heard high above the ocean roar,

Setting yesterday’s footsteps free.

 

He lives among the swaying reeds

And, here I walk, just as before.

Each day the tide returns to me

Setting yesterday’s footsteps free.

Author's Note

I am looking for trouble spots in the wording, punctuation and flow of the poem. It is suppose to be Iambic tetramenter - did I succeed?

Reviews

[ABBY]

im not a pro writer but it sounded great to me.
''Each day the tide returns to me,The waves of water sweep ashoreSetting yesterday's footsteps free."
that would have to be my favorit line.

[Becca]

I have no idea about the lambic tetrameter...but the poem is simply beautiful.
It ebbs and flows.
Well done!

[Grey]

sorry, but i'm not sure what iambic tetrameter is, so i can't really help you there. but it was a great poem, and a great villanelle. i can practically smell the sea salt. its very... longing, like its being told from a woman left at home waiting for her love to return on the sea. and ver descriptive of the ocean. great job.

[JLMatthews]

Excellent. This is one of my favorite pieces that you have written-beautiful and moving. I love it, particularly the way it flows. The emotion in it is fantastic.

[Michael]

Very good work, I would look at the first two stanza's "b" lines. The each seems to have an extra half foot. It is technically ok but I think it makes the read break a bit. It should be easy to fix with a little thought.

Still, it is a very good work, it is a minor point