I'm Luke Skywalker

THIS POEM WAS INSPIRED BY THE STAR WARS MOVIES.

I'm Luke Skywalker and I blew up the Death Star and fought against the Dark side.

I did it to make Princess Leia fall in love with me and become my bride.

While we were on Hoth, I thought she would be mine for sure when I kissed her.

But in the next movie I learned that I couldn't have her because she's my damn sister!

Since I couldn't have Leia, I made sure that Han Solo couldn't have her either.

I turned him into a eunich with my lightsaber and he had to leave her.

When I fought Darth Vader at Cloud City, it didn't go as I planned.
The b*****d beat me when we dueled and he cut off my hand.

Losing my hand worried me because it meant that I couldn't gratify myself anymore.

But then I got a robotic hand and now I can gratify myself even greater than before.

I'm Luke Skywalker and I'm a powerful Jedi Knight.

I'll neuter any man who I duel in a lightsaber fight.

The Empire was defeated by furry Ewoks who are so small.

The Ewoks used stones and arrows and that means that the Empire wasn't powerful at all.