Greek Mail Order Bride

THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM.

I have a mail order bride and she is Greek.

There's only one English word she can speak.

The one English word that she speaks is irritating, the word is 'No'.

It was a big mistake when I started to write to her one year ago.

Every time that I want some loving, she gives me a hard slap.

I paid $3,000 to get her to the USA. I sure don't need this crap.

I was so stupid that I had her flown here First Class.

If I had known how it would be, Coach is where she would've parked her a*s.

Life has been so frustrating and I've taken many cold showers since the day we got married.

She weighs 400 pounds so when we crossed the threshold, I was the one who got carried.

I've hired a Greek Translator and there's something she's going to know about.

If she doesn't start acting like a wife, I'm going to kick her large butt out.