As Ugly As A Wicked Witch

THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM.

I told my wife that she looks like a wicked witch.

And then I had to go to the hospital to be stitched.

She's always been angry and bitter because she's not good looking.

She looks even more like a witch when she eats because her face turns green from my terrible cooking.

She tells people that she's pretty but they refuse to hear her.

I have to clean up the broken glass after she looks in mirrors.

If each broken mirror brings seven years of bad luck, she's in for seven hundred unlucky years.

I also have bad luck because she says that she'll never leave me and that drives me to tears.