Death Of a Relative

DEDICATED TO BURLEY JOHNSON WHO DIED ON AUGUST 3, 1994.

My papaw died twenty-five years ago today.

It's been a quarter of a century since he passed away.

When he took a new medication, he became sick.

When Papaw took it, he turned out to be allergic.

If it hadn't been for Papaw, I wouldn't exist.

He died a long time ago and he's still missed.

Reviews

[Movielum Biloarso]

Is this poem intended to be structured? I'm having trouble figuring out the meter; although several of the lines are 13 syllables, others are 11, 15, and 17 syllables.

Given the poem's topic what might work best is iambic hexameter. An iamb is two syllables, an unstressed followed by a stressed, and hexameter is six of them, so 12 syllables per line. A lot of epic poetry is hexameter, although Shakespeare had success with iambic pentameter (five iambs, or 10 syllables).

The rime scheme AABBCC is a bit light given that its a memorial poem. Maybe ABABCC would work better given the topic.

Beyond that, the sentiment is clearly expressed. I like that you don't try to be precious but instead simply say what you mean. :)

Thanks for posting.