Middle Aged Charlie Brown

As children, when Lucy pulled away the football, it was cute.

Back then I could laugh about it and I didn't give a hoot.

But now that I'm fifty-one years old, it isn't cute anymore.

Yesterday, Lucy pulled away the football like the many times before.

I punched her really hard and I knocked that s**t to the ground.

Here came Linus to defend his sister and I had to take him down.

I pounded on his head and I crammed his blanket up his butt.

Schroeder joined in and I knocked him out with an uppercut.

I even had to beat up Peppermint Patty.

Maybe I shouldn't have called her a fatty.

Charles Schulz made me lack self confidence when I was a kid and that wasn't good.

If I could travel back in time to beat the crap out of him, you'd better believe I would.