A Candle's Wait

ghost of a woman still waiting for her lover to return,burns a candle for him in the window.

Only A candle burns

There in the window 

This house has long

Been empty of life,yet

Filled With old ancient history

Stories only the walls longs to tell

Every dusk the candle burns

Night after night

Waiting for his return

Night after night

Still alone,broken hearted

Wailing,crying echos the halls

Til at dawns sight

The candle snuffed out

Until the next dawn

A candle still there in the window on the right

Burning, hoping

Waiting for his return

Reviews

[William Liston]

Wow. This is a very unique piece of work with an interesting plot and stunning imagery, all of which give this poem its melancholic touch. On top of that, the eerie feeling in this poem is almost too vivid. I loved the personification in this piece; it really helped to add life. Great work.

The only flaws I see are in the visual presentation and the grammatical choices. In line 6, 'longs' needs to be 'long.' Also, there should be a space after every comma. To help with the visual presentation, I'd suggest adding a picture of a candle. It would really help set the vibe.

-William Liston

[Raven]

thank you,i'll take your opinion.

[Raven]

thank you and i will consider your opinion

[Wolf_Lord]

Incredible imagery in this. Pretty much your rhythm is great, though you might consider breaking some of the bigger lines into two to retain meter. Good job... I enjoyed this.
Wolf ,'', ^@@^ ,'',