The Day After Thanksgiving

T'was the day after Thanksgiving, when outside the store

People were pushing, shoving and screaming for more....

They stood by the doors yelling without care,

In hopes that Black Friday soon would be there.

The children were nestled tween adults filled with dread,

That'd they be crushed in the rush with split open heads.

Moms with their purses and Dads, felt like troops,

Fighting the line in riotous groups .

When there at the doors there arose such a clamor,

Cops arrived from all over to see what was the matter.

Away inside they all trampled like boars,

Pushing and shoving and breaking down doors.

The sirens on cars of newly arrived Cops,

Did nothing to sway the Moms and the Pops.

But what could the clerks use to appease?

But hulking large pallet of Plasma TVs.

A scared young clerk, terrified and sick,

They shoved him aside and grabbed'em up quick .

More rabid than weasels they devoured the stock,

They screamed out names, with lots of bad talk!

"Now look here you b***h, it's MY TV ho."

"No, no get your own TV you w***e."

Ahhhhhhhhhh get off my hair, she got my hair, she threw my hair!"

"Go get your weave b***h.....!"

Like dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

The weave flew across aisles like ....hair in sky.

Up to the top of a kitchen appliance shelf,

To which itself the crowd had already helped.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard a radio's call

The Cops were inside advancing the Mall.

They drew their pepper spray, and stun guns out,

In hopes of calming this fight club crowd.

They were dressed all in gear, from head to their feet,

With shields and with night sticks for asses to beat.

A tear gas attachment on a very big gun,

They were ready to rock and have some fun.

Their eyes how they shined! Their faces how set!

They lined in formation, and closed like a net!

Their arms were raised poised tight like a bow,

To swing them asunder back to and fro'.

They smacked an old man right in his teeth,

I guess for Christmas he's getting a wreath.

They stun gunned an old lady with a big round belly,

she shook and she seizured like a bowlful of jelly!

They smacked and they hit they fought and they bit!

All of that loot suddenly didn't mean s**t!

A wink of an eye the cops had kicked a*s,

The people were running away from the gas.

Still screaming and shouting in the spirit of the season,

But running away for a very good reason.

And scrabbling and scrambling out side to safety,

In hopes that they wouldn't be arrested, maybe.

They ran from the scene to the sound of the sirens,

Battered and bruised and kids that were crying.

But I heard them exclaim, ‘ere they drove out of sight,

"See you all next Black Friday after Thanksgiving night!"

Reviews

[Raymond Federle]

This has always been one of my favs...I had fun writing it

[R. L. Hill]

Hahaha! The truth you captured here is both sad and hilarious. I read this aloud to my family and you received laughter all the way around. Great job! It's sad though how true your portrayal is.

[Ees]

Very smartly done. terrible and funny. Way to get in the Christmas spirit with all of this!!! I'll never understand people who are that desperate for a deal. I spent the day after thanksgiving at my grandmother's house, eating leftovers and drinking beer and playing with babies. I love playing with babies. In my family holidays last for days. We couldn't be bothered with shopping nonsense! Anyway, very funny and creative use. Nice job!

[Raymond Federle]

Thanks!!! In my haste to post I misspelled a lot of stuff. Corrections have been made. all that nonsense makes me shake my head in disgust but you also gotta laugh at it.