La façon verrouillé

La façon verrouillé

Around all my soul,

 storm clouds gather.
It is truly dread.

Tenebrous walls of emotional sepsis rise against me.
It wounds my spirit,

 like a black spot of ink on to dry a paper.

Playing a wicked game of fate.
In my madness,

 I flee while oblivion follows.

Now alone,

my soul fails to attend to me.

The coil of my life passes serenely to the other side.

Author's Note

Reviews

[sonnetmoon]

I am speechless and that rarely happens. What is your secret for crafting such magnificent pieces of work? I am rather envious I must say haha. Once again a great read! thank you for posting
- sonnetmoon

[s y e]

Ray, this is deep; I really enjoyed it. Your emotions are so strong and your poem has a lot of 'oomp' to it. Great job, dude!

[Pryde Foltz]

The coil of my life passes serenely to the other side.

There's a line for the poetry hall of fame. I don't suppose they have one but this should be in it if they did;) You concluded this spiritual piece amazingly.

[Bri]

Very deep and I can feel strong emotions there. So much said in such a small amount of words.

[R. L. Hill]

I love your poetry of this style. It really displays your talent with use of words. You alter perspectives very eloquently. Great one, dear.

[Vampaslick]

I usually do not like free verse but this one pulled it off nicely. Well done

[MsJewel]

Dark and chilling...
You have a gift my friend. This one gave me goosebumps!

:) Julie

[Lyn Anderson]

This is very beautiful, and does not sound painful at all. It is a really great piece.

[Frieda P]

Eerie and hauntingly good...love the music, sounds like a nice way to pass.

[Nusquam Esse]

First line could probably use a comma after Soul... although that might just be me. As for the fifth sentence it is very poorly worded; I am not even sure what you are trying to convey, much less any subtle nuances which might exist. I would definitely reword it, or if it is worded properly, you need some form of punctuation (Just say it all in one breath without a pause, and you will see what I mean).
I like the imagery of a man whose soul has deserted him, as you put it so aptly, failing to attend.

[Nusquam Esse]

Looks better after the edits, was your usage of to correct/deliberate? Is it "to dry a paper" or was it meant to be "too dry a paper"?