Sanguine Erotica

Softly the breeze did blow, on that summers night.
Asleep in bed how could she know, bereft of second sight?

No given pause by symbols sacred, he stole across her floor
and in perfection found her naked, desired her, his w***e.

No common wench that lay before him, for once let down his guard.
His face grew grim, nonetheless, stirred deep within his heart.

These feelings were, to him unknown, his heart too hard to trust.
Yet he let slip a defeated groan, overcome with love and lust.

He would take her for his own, evermore but for his fright.

He knew the awful aftermath, by a creature of the night.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Kenneth The Poet]

I don't know if I'd call her a w***e because this doesn't read as a simple exchange of fluids and chemical release. Why does he go back even though he seems quite apprehensive about it? I have always wondered why some men do that. I understand the reference to Dracula, but this wonderful piece brought up thoughts I've had about a male archetype for some time.

Thank you for that.

Your writing is dead on here: the rhythm flows, the rhymes are spot on and the mood is stark, dreary and unsettling.

[Raymond Federle]

I don't this "He" is calling her a w***e... rather he wants to "MAKE a w***e out of her... "he stole across her floor and in perfection found her naked, desired her, his w***e." I need to work on this piece a little. Maybe the idea of making her his w***e does not translate well. Thanks for the review! :)

[Kenneth The Poet]

I understand. Thanks for the clarification.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i see the dracula reference and think about love might keep us eternally alive...but the risk of giving ourselves to another in heart as well as body...that can be a scary prospect.

nice mood created with this.

[Nusquam Esse]

I like this, possibly because I have been contemplating the concept of Nosferatu as well lately. I particularly like your choice for the title, the words flow well together, and sanguine is plain and simply not used as often as it deserves. (After all, it is such a lovely word (I am grateful that Elder Scrolls at least had enough sense to use it; sanguine rose). Since this follows a roughly sonnet structure, my only advice would be to go through and do syllable counts and see if you can't get it to some meter or another. Although that is hardly mandatory. All in all the flow is good, but I am sure it could be improved through a meter (the standard being iambic pentameter)

[Raymond Federle]

I agree. I will come back to this soon and revamp it! HA