Shared Spark

Shared Spark

My wisdom;

It is all too destructive

And would gladly take us both.

Still,

Should my soul cower in the shadow of the world?

This hopeless heartbreak runs wild;

Through the inside of me like a sick animal.

I would imagine a beast with wings,

Rapidly lifting me far from pain.

The external enemy;

Yet unknown.

And the internal hunter listens and waits.

We could scream from distances to great to hear.

But for our wounded spirits,

That shatter at the sound of our suffering.

Her mind is set in motion;

And refuses to identify the danger ahead.

I try to conceal my fire and swallow the desperate flames; 

But it signals to others,

For my spark is hers now.

That she shares with some other creature;

And leaves my love lame and wounded.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Pryde Foltz]

That she shares with some other creature;
And leaves my love lame and wounded.

Love rejected is boomerang of ache. Your rock, Raymond.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Ray --- this would be a bit better ---
in a break-up of the wording...
add more impact to the lines...
like the picture...
the words going in flames...

example:

My wisdom; It is all too destructive and would gladly take us both.
---
My wisdom;
It is all too destructive
and would gladly take us both.

Still, should my soul cower
in the shadow of the world?

---

and continuing down the rest of the page...
the meaning and intent is there...
just seems to be missing something...

[Raymond Federle]

Re worked it a little... but yes I'm not entirely happy with it. It does lack... something. I shall meditate on it and see if higher thought prevails.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I just read through the lines the first time...and just did not get the feel...I'm sure you agree...and yes...if you go about this more...hit me up and I'll have a re-read...as for the design now seems a bit more effective...