Mentalist
At some point one will ask the question how did it have to take this long. In reality the subject does not grasp the picture at the time. It happens with minor misunderstandings quarrels here and there but the core point is settlement. Each time there is a situation he knows why , he what target he is aiming at. But you merely see the surface. I knew deep down that he was very uncomfortable when my family came around so I grew intolerant of my family. I knew the were aware sometimes they would hint at it but, overall they would come I think they loved me. They would come and sometimes later I will be snappy and resentful even though their stay was brief, then they would leave. Later on another occasion they will be there to support me. I once gave birth , it was my second child, beautiful, then my aunt came, my late sister came, she cooked may God forgives me. She brought me food she came took her time to cook , she was so good at cooking, brought the food to me at the hospital and I heard she there and behold I told her she should send her 2 daughters home , she argue she won’t because they would be without care, the selfish me, didn’t want the man of the house to cut deep in my heart with attitude, I said she should leave and only come to hen my aunt would be gone. It wasn’t normal it wasn’t me, it was the person I had accepted as my life partner who had transformed me not for intimacy’s reason but ultimately to keep my support system entirely dependent of him it was a ploy to isolate me and manipulate at will. I listened to no one but in private he will gaslight me with accusations of letting my family interfere. I loved his family he was happy when they were around he showed it but , whenever my people came he behaved like he was experiencing cramps. He once received a hot slap and a sound warning not to ‘utter those words again’ for asking if my father could come and spent time with us. By the way, my father had been leaving with my sister for a year and I was only asking if he could come for a short time . That was the type of life I had chosen for myself. In fact he went off to sleep on the cough for a week. My late sister may her soul rest in peace had a failed marriage.!I had observed the pattern and I swore I would have a successful one. So anything that was going to ruin it was a no go area. I would live to regret each of these decisions. It was a pitiful sight now that I step back and look at it.
It was on a Monday morning. As a graduate and jobless I was at home. My first con was barely around 18 months or thereabouts, I took him to his potty, few seconds into it he started screaming, before I knew it what I thought would be just few minutes resolution turn into a nightmare, my son was grabbing my hit and screaming every 10 minutes, I am not sure where my partner was but he was there and stated with taking him to hospitals and testing. By the end of the next day he was diagnosed with an intestinal occlusion and scheduled for a surgery. My late sister came and was the only family I had there . We all gathered with my partner’s friends and he underwent a successful surgery. As a peep into what I am talking about, my partner too some pictures : at the time only cameras were available , cell phones only existed in the minds of creators yet to be implemented; so my partner with great joy made some pictures and carefully took pictures of everyone present there but my late sister ! Imagine we are all gathered around the bed and he is taking photos. I am worn out but happy that ms son is there with us, later when pictures come out I realize my sister was carefully crafted out of every picture like during the shoot he made sure she didn’t appear, he would pretend later in life that she mattered to him but my wonder is: why does he find it hard to show appreciation of any kind to my people but knows well how to be buoyant, joyful and happy when any of his either friends or family is around. It would seem unbelievable if I say I once asked him why he tolerated things from his people and treated them with attention and care and he responded: there are around me just for a brief moment while you with me forever , it’s not the same. So this was a deliberate decision to treat me like that. From a playful girl I turned into someone I can’t describe. I acted to please Joni resonated just the way he would be comfortable with. I went from a christian girl to stop phoning to church not because he offered me mental security as such but to fit into the personality he had mold me into. I would not tolerate people around because I craved his attention. I am sure I live for so many years with someone else mind and spirit and before long I started noticing signs he was emit available anymore.
He read Machiavelli I didn’t. He quoted him all the time now I wonder if he taught me Machiavelli was a good or a bad person.
I had a beautiful girl, she had a my second born, fair beautiful but she came into this disfunction. She became his tool a giant me. She has n ver really had a personality of her own. I birthed her loved her, breastfed her took care of her until she had her common entrance to secondary school, . Then I saw that I wasn’t enough to be associated with decisions concerning her; the school she had to go to, they prepare a trip for her and I was in the same house, we were in good terms are r so I thought , he planned the trip and travelled with my daughter for a full week without my own consent. Came back and announced she was admitted at all girls school in hers hometown; by the way children were not to associate with way family members ‘ until they are mature and can decide on their own’ . Now for starters they attend boarding schools in his hometown meaning they get to be with his people whenever there is weekly breaks except for holidays, I was told by my people I shou not bother as they will grow mature and ‘understand!’ What a trap , it will take only the will f God for that to happen . How would you expect someone who had barely been use to other people to feel confident around them, how would you expect children to who saw they father showing relentless annoyance whenever he saw my people to know and appreciate any other people than his?