Tossed Aside

Older piece from my freshman year in college.

     I stalked the false night
   Restless
    Light reflect off the clouds above
          To totally obliterate
                                    Any trace of real darkness
                           My eyes lusted for the moon
As I strolled
Clichéd in a black trench coat
                                 Fog trailed from my lips
                It glinted in the streetlights
         Like forgotten smoke rings
            Nothing warrants a pause
                       Nor even a second glance
In the harsh light                    There is no beauty here

       I sigh                                and turn back
    A small spot of color draws my eye
A rose,
                  Matured and past it’s prime
  Lies helpless in the gutter
                    Admired and used for a moment in time
But then left, exposed
                             Raped by the elements and thoughtlessness 
It served a purpose
Then was tossed aside

Reviews

[Elise Anton]

This is beautiful. Honored to have read it, thank you.

[Tenten]

the arrangement of words, beautiful, the last lines strike so much inside of me, a great piece of work.

[RAWR!]

wow miss Weth,
this was really good.

the words feel so true that i cannot see anything wrong with it.
really nice imagery.

very good!

[John Stussy]

Actually, I think it's great now. The formatting adds a lot to the feel of the poem, that anger of being used.

[John Stussy]

It's a good poem, but yes it does seem to be lacking something... I'm not quite sure what that something is myself. I may come back to this and try to figure out what it is again.