(Omoi no Oboe)

"Memory of thought"...I think....If it's wrong, please tell me....this was inspired by a picture I drew with oil pastels when I was bored...I think I'll put this picture in here...

A second passed

Thought not meant to last

For all but from whom it came

 

A moment is a grain of sand

I hold many here in my hand

But few are mine to tame

 

The hourglass

A sturdy grasp

Dear, discern the night from day

 

A memory

is meant to be

a grain that never falls away

 

Author's Note

I'm still kind of "iffy" about how it flows...and also about a few other things...but I kind of like it so I'm putting it on here.
Tell me what you think...
It probably won't make much sense..I hope it does though...it makes sense to me...

Reviews

[universalove]

THE POEM IS VERY SAD TO ME . LIKE BEING MIND F**K. IN SEARCH OF WHAT. JUST LIKE THE HOUR GLASS. SANDS OF TIME SO DO THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES. REALLY GOOD.

[PianoandPage]

i think the idea of the hourglass and how each thought, memory, moment is contained within.... lasts forever is beautiful.

your art is also quite nice. :)

[Edmond Dantes]

wow, you made that art on cardboard!!! awesome. loved the art, the words & the message. thanks for sharing

[Freedom]

oh, and thats a really good picture, too.
your oil work is pretty damn good.

[Freedom]

the only thing i see that's off about the flow is the "dear" in the third stanza..i guess you could lighten it a little with a pronoun or something. but other than that this is really awesome. I love it. Good themes, i like the idea of sand being memories..in proportion with the hourglass. I really love this, it looks like a lot of work was put into this poem. Good job.

[Legion]

I like it (and the painting). Especially the last stanza. Rings so true. It all flows well to. Like the rhyme scheme. Good work.

[Thomas James Martin]

Interesting piece of writing. I did enjoy it, especially its economy.

Tom

[Killer In The Wind]

I like the felling of desperation that I felt from this. Great job