Rite of Passage (The Real Diploma)

The Reality of Manhood..

A Young Lady
With the face
of a teen

Painfully obviously
Carrying herself
As a woman

Crossed paths

With a boy
who was Technically
and Legally a man

Petitioning her with
Ego that was Charming
last month  in high school

And with One word
She hurt MY feelings
And She wasn't even

Talking to me......

[ *_*]. o O ( Welcome to the real world buddy.....)

Author's Note

A teenager mistakes a woman in her early 20's as a teenager. The way he talked to her was not cool. Poor guy....He had it coming..But somehow the punishment did not fit the crime. :(

Reviews

[. serah .]

-- this is sad... -- it's not a crime and the act definitely does not merit any kinda punishment... -- interesting piece, mr. rellis... with a interesting title...

[The Water Queen]

Love the mistakes we make. Witty and painfully truthful.

--The Angel of the Earth--

[celyn]

Hah, witty and truthful. I love it.

[topsyturvy]

Haha well this made me laugh.. It was a nice poem with some humor in it, well, for me anyway. I guess the (welcome to the real world buddy) did it in for me :P Great job! :P

[cest la vie]

Ha.. you have such a way with the real world..

love to know what Ed was gonna say..
This is a great write!!

[Therene]

Cruel world we have aye? :))

I must say that in a very short poem, it's quite difficult to lay everything out. But the details here did just fine. :D For technicals, I think it fell short for flow. Choice of words is simple but effective.

Job well done.

[Ed Hart]

well, at some point we have to put ourselves out there...I was going to say something else, but there might be ladies present...

[w]

I think we all like to believe age doesn't make a difference, but it does. Not physical age, but mental and emotional age. It sounds like neither of them were ready to handle what the other would give. Whether immature or too mature, something wasn't connecting.

Be wary of using capitols within the lines. It takes from this otherwise really well done piece.

Best wishes,
Edie