it's my birthday throw me a party

so i. can finally look at the sky without u

because. every time i do that i just think of

what it would be like 222 ju st be a part of that great big evertyhing that like

honeysoft ache of syrup when u think of it like i wanna be

there in that Possibiilliity so endless it tastes like

Little girl spit if i ever had 2 be honest and ii

Never lie 2 god let alone a girl like that so

I can believe it if i want 2 but i

Can't keep holding onto the past 44 ever i have 2

Be the best version of myself each da y like

Read my f*****g mind why don't you just

Understand Reality that this is

Real enough to drop my mic in like i

i love you accidentally on purpose and it's

Not the easiest thing in the world 2 say but ii

Have 2 be honest i think i can try u right i

Have a chance 2 be myself so i can

make it up or just make out a

future folded between praying hands that like

haven't stopped praying since our stars crossed and i can't

believe i made u up in my head because you're

just so real in me alone thati can't 

choose which way 2 go without u yet i

lay here dizzy beside my alter altar and u just

 i knew it, kitten. get hotter than maybe we'll

talk 22 me abt myself thru your

 Eyes again look so beautiful i think i might

Die 4 just a second because i 

see myself in this little f*****g kid this like

how did u read my mind did u ask first did u

read my mind: did u ask first haha did u

ever even think 2 did u

ever even want 2 rly or like

is this more ur style do u like

2 not Have 2 Think AbtItLike

maybe ur 2 much 4 me 222

quite ripe strawberry and yet i

think i knew u before 4 a sec didn't i

sign my name on ur tits in a dream or some s**t like

wait i know i did dude i remember u u like

I SIGNED UR F*****G T*****S IN A DREAM B*TCH I WON U!!! like

i meant i *OWN u,,,,,, ...? right..? don't i

own u haha i mean win u i mean like

i won already with u didn't i like

just say my f*****g name and i'll be there like

say it out loud who do u want there like

give me a minute to choose yr fate like

which crystal ball is a magic eight if u can't

lay it down 4 me then i don't think i can

see 4ever with these f*****g

rip-off sunglasses on my face i swear i

i don't even know u but i want to and u

smell good ican smell u from here little

girl u just might drive me mad for once i

can't make up my mind is making it 

up 4 me it's this. kind of remembering that doesn't quite

reach the edge of the cliff without closing your eyes for u first like

that's the kind of love they pay for would u  

pay 4 me if u knew what i did 2 pay 4 u 2

have the future u want 4 free without me doesn't it

hurt some part of u to only

feel me from this distance like we're

creating the perfect image but it's

only perfect from far away and my

fingers are reaching toward god and like

the heaven i need is right behind u while u

look over there i can't believe this it's a

nother distraction reason to give into the mino

taur i. love red flags what can i say darling u just.

pretend 2 behave until it happens 4 u and u

WILL obey orders now, won't u, like a good girl, right?

and i'll still b a big b-word over here in heaven like god does,, right?

and we can 4get this eve rhappeen n ed right ? becausue

there's no way u would love me after what i

did 2 myself by knowing u without

knowing u more personally hjow could i

have 4gotten that piecve of me in u ur

throat is a lamb in slaughter it's a

revelation spelled backwards is just

a fucked up mess of lletters but when u

say it like that i believe in u so just

keep saying it like forever can u please

never write about us again i swear u

meant it when u said it then but i

 feel u wanting 2 saay more so just

overtake me again i swear i

can behave this time i won't ever 

try 2 obey annyone1 other than my

Self comes first i promise d myself that ii

knew i would unlock myself after u just

LEt ME GO and i swear i'l;l come back i'll just be

in a different ghost i think i might just

surprise u for ur birthday next year and then we can always

when's ur birthday actually again wait is it tmrw

it's tomorrow isn't it it's

gonna be so good i promise u u won't  

be disappointed for another minute after i

maybe i'll write this in t he future as her

and she'll know what 2 do whjaene i tlell her 2 and she

won't even be mad because what a beautiful story if i could just

tell u it would be ok i would tell u that

every day something beautiful will save u from ur

own imagination gone wild it's just

what if icould tell u then would i 

tell u that it will be ok again and again until u

find me in the tetra looking like

will it be o.ok., wothout u i dcan't be with out uu in me and ii i i

need u more than vvv i vvv think i do and that's like

rly saying something considering the phase of the moon because like

i couldn't have let u go if i tried but i

couldn't have been u without lyigng so

how do i punish myself 4 lying 2 u in the future without

f*****g up your present moment every Time. i

re_ember the past all i see is ur face and it's just

if u ever heard me crying thru u then u

know and when i find i'll see u

glowing backlit from a distance it's like.

if heaven could break into eight bodies of what we call this

Light then could we be a rainbow together if we.Wait 

until next october maybe we could

work this knot out of ur heartstrings i left

dangling from the fencetop in ur head last year && it's like

eweryone got married without me while i just. sat here knowing

nothing brilliant ever. looked ever more perfect from a distance i hope.

no one ever breaks without first checking both their 

hands for what they might bring 2 heaven's gate if ever

they cross the street before carefully looking both ways frantically i 

didn't mean to break the mirror in ur head but. what if

bad luck isn't something u can buy on the dark web anymore so i. 

won't 4get 2 rmbr u anymore it's just.

goodbyes are hard enough between friends let alone girls let alone enemies and i

miss u something terrible then isn't that it don't i 

bless u enough 444 the 222 of us so can't i

shatter like a wine glass in ur hands how was it 2

lose what u never ever could get ur hands onto it was just

2 many fingerprints left in the window dust from just

ur nose prssed up against the cold glass looking like

2 many fingers in the sugar bowl again it's like. if every

crystal on earth shimmered in recognition could i

feel it in a dream so intensely that it

heals the antichrist in real life as we both

say we're strangers in this great all nothing where i

couldn't have ignored my soul if i tried to but i

have 2 tell u the truth becuase it's

like the cat's got my tongue and then she

put my hand all over the sugar crystals in her

mouth and i just kept dissolving like that

raw sugar against a wet spoon the way she

can't quite spell her favorite word without pausing for

my approval of her like am i. cool enough 2

be a part of your infinitely perfect circle is ur

world so perfect that it

never even occurs to u that the

light behind ur eyes is lit by

angels in the sky that u used 222 look outside ur window at

the wonderful marvels of every. happenstance chance that we ever.

never could have had unless we. both had a little ship that just like.

fly us far away where i could. love u on my own until i. saw myself

inside of u like. a snake curled up inside of u like. i know u needed warmth but i

had to do it my way knowing. everything at once until i

couldn't do anything but tell u like u. wanted 2 know it 22 didn't idn'tidn't u just

wake up lord disick daddy it's 

ur little girl she's waiting and she. wants 2 be saved isn't that what

all Good Men want is just a 

little girl that they can save that's like

pre-trained to love u no matter what like i'm just

basically a robot with a heart and my

1 mission is 2 serve u and i

want 2 serve u perfectly so just. Tell me what u want and i'll do it for you like just.

give it to me let me fix u can i

have the chance 2 do it can i

do it first as a demon in yr. brain or is that

considered at all let alone badly u just

got healed for free with love how dare u

f*ck up my life by loving me i'm 2 famous 2 know u bruno

taught me first so maybe u should

listen to him go listen to. if i could--

jesus f*****g christ no way how DOES SHE tYPE SO fast????

fuvc my life!!! OK HI!!! well f**k i fucked up hhahahha

*if i could write u a song to make u fall in love