hi, i'm loner

A poem I wrote earlier this year about feeling alone, like there is no hope in the world and in your life that you don't even fight, you just welcome the pain and the loneliness it brings.

“hi, i’m loner

one of the forgotten

lost in the darkness

of nothing but rotten

and hollow emptiness

i was once a dreamer

forever marching forward

to meet with the stars

that glittered and glimmered

showing no hint of their scars

my mind used to be brighter 

filled with everything positive

until i met The Shadow

who was very destructive

and took me down with a mere arrow

hi, i’m loner

‘the one that used to be’

i’m still stuck in darkness

i really wish i was free

and not so dreamless

goodbye, i’m forever here

drowning in a sorrowful pool

fading slowly into the mist

a lovely feast for a ghoul

i never really did resist.”

Author's Note

Lowercase is intended. It's edgy, I know but I wanted to share this because it's something that is close to me and how I feel. Criticism welcome.

Reviews

[J. Storm]

I have read all your writing over the last few hours, and I keep coming back to this one. I would love to see a piece by you that didn't try to rhyme. You have a beautiful vocabulary and something deep inside you that is edgy, dark and wants to blurt out. You restrict yourself with trying to rhyme, let something flow naturally and see where your inner thoughts really take you. Don't worry about trying to rhyme, don't worry about trying to not rhyme. I'd love to read about how deep into your mind you can delve...With all that said I love your writing and the way your mind works. I look forward to so much more from you.

[Rheia]

This is a challenge I am soooo going to accept. I haven't written anything that hasn't rhymed yet because I'm a bit nervous for it. I love flow, and the easiest way for me to get flow is rhyming. I'll definitely work on one though, something new. Thank you for taking the time to read my poems, and for your words! :)

[emipoemi]

un-be-lievable!! The only comment I have is that the musicality would be far more smoother were it "hi, i'm *a loner". Other than that - honest to God - I have no words....my voice is in my awe! Powerful, profound, and to some degree relatable! Well freaking done!