Old Love (second thoughts)

Ballad in alternating iambic tetrameter/trimeter (8/6/8/6 counts) and abcb, defe, ghih, etc; rhyme scheme.

It’s well I know of lonely nights …

these ever longer days.

Each time my lover's strayed-away

and I'm the one who stays.

Lost rivers from my many tears …

then, flowed to sorrow's seas,

with plaintive, soft-sent sighs to thee,

beseeching on bare knees.

Too well I know that painful grip

of steady, lonesome days,

and dread the fall of eventide,

devoid of your dear ways.

Comes ever to my waiting hope,

unanswered, echoed calls …

there's no relent to this dire need;

too sad, each tear that falls.

Shhh! Listen, hear this heart of mine

sing sweet our love's refrain …

oh, do your feet begin to dance,

or does it bring you pain,

to know that stars cannot take back

what's twinkled in our eyes …

nor, moon forget that which he's seen

on high from warm night skies?

If you shall answer with a, "Yes,

my soul is lonely, too!"

Why not then give us one more chance,

to make old love brand new.

Richard W. Jenkins

©2019

.

Author's Note

Painting: Oil on board, courtesy of Pinterest.

Please, feel free to leave hard critique, but know what you're talking about. 🤔

Reviews

[Marie]

Old love never dies and this pleasing ballad supports my theory. Soft, gentle, warm and emotionally touching is exquisitely penned in a beautiful simplicity. A very evocative write filled with symbolism as the story of love missed is painted superbly throughout. Giving love a second chance for some couples, sadly not for everyone. Missing someone so special is very impressively penned in this sublime write. So enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing, dear poet...

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Gently Kind Marie 🌾

To be so intricately, graciously appreciated, and knowingly praised by such an accomplished poetess, with clear, keen understanding, entices a hopeful bard to blush with the sheer sincerity of passions sent and felt.
It is poignantly written, "Once falling out of love, it is nearly impossible to fall back in."

Warmest hugs to You! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Marie]

......and also to you, dear poet!

[texasjane]

I love this poem. Well said and felt. The heartbreaking and so willing to do it all over again. These are the words of a romantic, masterful poet. Thank you for sharing this. I found it to be a heart-warming experience.

[Richard🖌]

Howdy, Jane

A lovely, sunny Texas mornin' to ya … and, how much more wonderful you've made it with your inspiring praise and understanding comments.
There's nothing like a reader understanding and appreciating my humble efforts.

Happy hugs! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[texasjane]

You are so very welcome. You deserve every word. You are truly talented.

[Bonnie Paige]

This is certainly a dear poem with many relatable
Words. The moment I finally gave up on lovers lost I found a greater inner peace. Old loves lost was so important to me, but even then I failed at making them a new. So now in my senior years I chose peace for myself rather then hoping to fix my past lost loves.
Great poem but I hope you find peace and happiness with yourself.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so graciously, Dear Bonnie 😌

Such a lovely thing you've said about my wee poetic efforts to write for and touch my wonderful lady and fellow readers … so truly inspiring you are.
It's beautiful, too, how deeply you relate to this particular piece, though, it's poignantly sad to know you've had little success in renewing any of your olde loves … but, hey! Just think of all the new ones waiting to be discovered and sweetly enjoyed. 😋

As for me, m'kindhearted lady, you'd probably be surprised at how much of my poetry comes from imagination and wishful thinking.
Smiles 'n hugs of ever-hopeful warmness! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Unspoken poet]

Lost rivers from my many tears …
then, flowed to sorrow's seas,

Love the metaphor here, from sea's to tears...aww both in water form.
Sorrow seas, to be quite lonely to drift on...
Awesome writing

[Richard🖌]

Such beautiful softness your voice imparts, Dear Lady-Poet 🥀

A most revealing excerpt you've chosen to highlight from amidst my lines, that tells how wonderfully we relate, and what a pleasure it is to know.

Thank you ever-so warmly for your inspiring compliment, too! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[poetgurl]

who would criticize such a perfect write, you write so well. I really like and enjoy rhyming poems.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Kari 🥂

It is truly a delight to please one of my lovely lady readers in such complete ways, and to receive such inspiring accolades from her beautifully appreciative voice.

Many happy blessings! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[TL Boehm]

A lovely, lonely technically stellar lyrical write. I’m not qualified to give a hard critique anyway, but this has that vintage vibe to it which I find so appealing. It is romantic and gentle and it’s poetic soul is right here Shhh! Listen, hear this heart of mine
sing sweet our love's refrain …
oh, do your feet begin to dance,
or does it bring you pain,

to know that stars cannot take back
what's twinkled in our eyes …
nor, moon forget that which he's seen
on high from warm night skies?

[Richard🖌]

I thank you, Tammy, ever-so warmly, gratefully, and sincerely 🌾

From the lines you've graced, with the same knowing, harmonious breath as my own, there's scant doubt our two silent souls' sibilant songs are smoothly and silently akin.

That you've found such accolade-worthy wonderment in my poetry is more gracious inspiration than a humble bard could hope … but, I'm keeping every word! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Tate Morgan]

to know that stars cannot take back

what's twinkled in our eyes …

nor, moon forget that which he's seen

on high from warm night skies?


Such bliss in this so well tendered. bravo

[Richard🖌]

Greetings, my finely talented Friend 😃

Thank you most gratefully for spotlighting those lovely lines from my imagination unto your skilled, discerning eye.
Such a nice compliment and kudos from an artist on your level is encouraging praise, indeed … thank you, again.

Bless your every moment throughout the new year, Tate! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Tate Morgan]

Thank you Richard. You are a true talent.

[Richard🖌]

B l u s h *

[Tate Morgan]

This took a lot of work. Precise drafting. Command of language and insight. I see every turn of a phrase. This took an inspiration and created a lullaby of it. I am very impressed! This is
mastery of the art.Not one word out of place. Not one beat of the line out of place

[Audrey M.]

First I need to tell you how much I love your choice in cover pics for your poems. Very nice.
Next I really like the poem as a whole but I have to say the part that reads "to know that stars cannot take back what's twinkled in our eyes...nor, moon forget that which he's seen on high from warm night skies?". That is my favorite part. Still spoken in a romantic sense. Also, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but it would make a nice companion piece to my twilght poem : )
Enjoying your poems sir : )

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so warmly, Dear Poetess 🎶

It is a special treat, indeed, that my efforts to find the right introduction artwork and pictures for my poems are so thoughtfully recognized. I want the experience of reading my earnest poetical efforts to be as fully an enjoyable experience for my readers as possible, and I often spend a considerable amount of time to try my best at it.
Of course, we both know that nothing can turn a sow's ear into silk … that is, if the poetry, itself, lacks, no amount of decor is going to make its soul sing and dance.
I agree with your choice of lines … once the artist knows what they want to impart, it's a matter, then, of meaningful metaphoric imagery and syntactic flow. I am so very thrilled you recognized that meaningful aspect of this piece. : )

MIND? Why, I am more honored than words can express to know you believe my writing and yours could compliment each other.

Ahhh, I feel like I've been kissed by stars*
Hugs to You! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Donicca Dona L]

Beautiful written i feel like often we forgot that we can run out of love but it is never late to start love again. Love is a feeling worth fighting and renews.

[Richard🖌]

A most lovely review, Dear Poetess 🥀

Thank you ever-so warmly for your encouraging compliment and for sharing your keen insights on love and its renewal.

I agree, Lady Dona, the spark of love within each of us is like a glowing ember that never dies, and can always be rekindled with the softest breath! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[danielle.]

I absolutely love this.

I have little knowledge of the technicalities of poetry but I do feel like this arrangement lends itself so well to the bitter sweet.

I think this is beautiful in content and composition.

Elle xx

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Elle 🍂

How wonderful it truly is to write for and share with another who can "absolutely love" my humble poetic efforts … you've no idea how inspiring it is to receive such an accolade, and other warm expressions of appreciation, from an experienced poetess on your level.
As far as technicalities of the simple Ballad form this piece is composed in, they are detailed in the introduction for anyone to try, if they so wish, and it you do, I'll be happy to lend a hand, if needed. : )

Your words in review, a lovely poem in themselves, Elle … hugs! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Just Kim]

Too well I know that painful grip
of steady, lonesome days,
and dread the fall of eventide,
devoid of your dear ways.

I really love this part, i can feel the emotion in this stanza,
this is a well written write, much enjoyed this emotional piece

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Kim ☀️

Thank you so very much for selecting this romantic piece in homage to reigniting the flame of love that had dwindled to an ember.
I, too, can feel the depth of emotion in the stanza you've highlighted, assuring that we've connected in a meaningful way.

Thank you also for your inspiring praise, for enjoying my writing, and surely for loving any part of it … happy hugs for a nice warm day! ⁓ Richard 🍃