An Odd Dilemma

What shall I do...

I’m shopping vegetarian

There’s trouble in my cart

Each vegetable I put there

Has a body part!

 

I cannot eat an EAR of corn

Or EYES on a potato,

Cut up a HEAD of cabbage

Or the FLESH of a tomato

 

A RIB of celery puts me off

And HEARTS of palm do, too

Don’t start me on the KIDNEY beans

They’re not a proper chew

 

How to solve this odd dilemma?

I guess I’ll just eat fruit…

Some juicy NAVAL oranges,

A banana HAND…

Aw, shoot!

 

 

Author's Note

My silly Muse is awake...

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

My odd dilemma is that I came across your poem in a contest we both entered and I keep reading yours, then mine, yours, then mine trying to decide! And am I only wanting to pick mine because it's mine?? I just woke up not too long ago and now I have a headache! Thanks a bunch...of sour grapes??

[Rita L. Sev]

LOL! Certainly did not intend for anyone to get a headache! Glad you liked this bit of utter nonsense!

[Einstein Noodle]

so cool you are my friend! ...mayhaps subsist on grass! ;) (no .....not that kind .... no ... scrape off the cricket larvae ... no no no ... slime off the snail stuff first !!! ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hell! just eat the damn cow! :))
E.

[Rita L. Sev]

It's been so long since I've eaten cow, I don't think I could get it down... but I do like that you say I am cool. SO not what I was called back in school... ;) Thanks, E!

[Einstein Noodle]

ohhhhh! you are way cool Rita! your poetry always lifts me ...makes me smile, chuckle and or laugh ...as well as your deeper thoughts from time to time .. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay cool says i! :)

[Jennie Baron]

I love it! So full of cute humor. Great lighthearted write.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Jennie! :)

[MomzillaNC]

Hilarious! I was laughing all the way through it and just had to read it aloud!

[TL Boehm]

This is hilarious! I have to admit - I'm a fan of heifers and piggies and poultry but I'll hunt down a salad sometimes too. Naval oranges. That made me giggle.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thanks, Tammy! I've always likes the term "naval oranges", too. :)

[Free Birdie]

I love it! You make a good point haha I was a vegetarian for a while but my parents forced me to eat meat again. You are a great writer to have come up with this play on words haha :)

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Birdie. I went veg in my 30s, so my parents couldn't tell me to stop. :) I appreciate your kind words.

[Shaun Payton]

Haha delightful. A much needed smile you dear poet have provided. :):)

[Rita L. Sev]

I aim to please! :) Thanks, Shaun!

[Shaun Payton]

:) Welcomey Rita:)

[SyberRose]

An enjoyable read...really cute Rita..nicely done as always...Rose:)

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Rose! :)

[David Scott]

I like your silly side. :)
You gave me a smile!
This type of poetry gives the reader a glimpse into real life humor. I was vegan for two years so I could relate.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thanks, David - I grew up reading silly poems, and learned from my father how funny Life can be...

[Relic]

hahaha, nice. I never thought about the body parts and limbs we eat when it comes to veggies.

[Rita L. Sev]

:) Thanks, Relic. People joke with me about this - "If you're a vegetarian, how can you eat a head of lettuce?" LOL!