The Tour

Admission is free

Greetings!  Welcome!

I’m glad you could come

Are you ready for the tour?

come in, but don't look 'round the bend;

you'll find insanity's door.

 

Right here are priceless memories

kept in clear glass cases

Repositories of my childhood,

its people and its places

 

Just behind, in heavy boxes

recalls of a darker kind

displayed not very often,

they clutter up my mind

 

This shelf holds my poetry ~

my ego shares this space;

for years it was quite dusty,

a curator’s disgrace

 

A most impressive monument

within these gray matter walls

are all the open areas

you’ll see throughout the halls

 

And if you open up this door

you’ll see what I still dare

for in this room, in this old vault

my dreams are waiting there.

 

Author's Note

This is what happens when I get over-tired. Still tweaking.

Reviews

[Frieda P]

I really like this little peek into the clutter of your mind, it's sad when our dreams get tucked away. An 'old vault', what a telling way of exposing where they now collect dust as they wait.....always an intriguing read from you Rita!

[Rita L. Sev]

I'd better dust them off soon - before closing. Thank you, Frieda!

[quinfinn]

clever idea here.....welcome to my mind. raises many terrifying thoughts with some people i can think of. i think we are fortunate, indeed, that others can't enter our minds, much less tour them. i mean, imagine getting accidentally locked inside Hitler's brain overnight......ouch! excellent write........

[Rita L. Sev]

Ha! Quin, that made me spit out coffee! You are right, there are many minds I'd stay clear of, but others - I'd love to spend a day in Poe's brain... But I'd keep my eye on the exit just the same. Thanks!

[quinfinn]

i wouldn't mind touring hugh hefner's mind for a night

[Rita L. Sev]

:) Donald Trump's...

[Sirius King]

the old vault of dreams, that really struck a cored with me

nice write!

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Serenus.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like this, Rita--

tour my brain...all the remembrances good and bad are there...

the clutter...that is what my life feels like in retrospect...a lot of clutter...some good , some bad...but it's all me...

i think we give many of our readers the tour...when they read our poems...i hope they can make sense of us.

i like this a lot..

jacob

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Jacob. It is a never ending task to keep all the clutter in its proper place.

[Kristin Lee]

What a great idea. I love the last stanza. Referring to the room that holds your dreams as an "old vault." Because it does often feel that our dreams get kept under lock and key for far too long, waiting for their chance to reach the light of day.

[Rita L. Sev]

Exactly. Thanks, Kristin!

[Baby Ricochet]

I like the concept of touring one's mind as if it were a museum. Great write

[Rita L. Sev]

Thanks, Mark!

[Will]

I like the premise you're working from here. It's a very unique concept, to display one's brain as a physical edifice to be toured, viewed, and pried at. I feel that the rhymes are there, and what you have is very, very good. I do think, though, that you could greatly expand upon this. There are several aspects of human psychology and your life (or to stick with your terminology, "exhibits") that you could show in your brain (this "museum"). I love what you have so far, but I feel like a few additions could make this poem really great. Awesome job, Rita.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thanks, Will. I agree, there's more to do here. I ran out of steam, but I want to revisit this one. Appreciate your comments!

[Will]

You definitely should revisit it. It's great

[Denham Cole]

Nice idea for a poem. Still rather undeveloped as yet

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you for reading!