The hollowed heavy heart

I was having some kind of anxiety attack and Wrote what I was feeling. It felt like I was drowning. Strange feeling, but since I wrote this, I've felt better and haven't suffered an attack.

Something burrows deep within this hollowed, heavy heart. A sinking hole that love can't fill is tearing it apart.

An empty feeling of utter despair, I want to run and hide, rather than stand to face my darkest fear - I cower deep inside.
​I hear them in the hollow where they whisper and taunt, all alone in this silent battle, deep in the shadows where they haunt.

My body moves, yet my mind is far away,
becoming a ghost to the life it no longer wants to claim.

​They say grief is just love that has nowhere left to go.
I tried to keep it in this hollowed heart, but it seeped out through the sinking hole.

In the space you left, you left a scar of a phantom pain.

They say with time the hurt will pass, but every day it remains.

​Now, bitter howling winds scream through its hollowed walls,
longing to hear the ring of an unanswered call.

I close my eyes and search, like a surgeon in my mind,
to patch and seal the space that your absence left behind.

​Then a memory of a golden light spilled through like a roaring sea.

It chased the shadows hidden in its halls and made the darkness flee.

Now the heart no longer hollow, as the heaviness becomes light.

There is room at last for tomorrow,
and its corridors are filled with healing light.

Author's Note

Do you feel it too?

Reviews

[Relic]

I had them years ago. I recall shopping and abandoning the shopping cart so I could get out of there. I don't get them anymore but I do get a twinge every once in a while. I have no answers as to what causes yours, but I would venture to say you answered your own question.

Could it be that something happened when you were very young? Some incident that happened so long ago you can't even identify it yet it pops up inside without warning and takes over?

Whatever the answer, I believe writing is an outlet that can douse the flames of its fire. Many write to avoid the demons that epitomize the words 'uninvited guest.'

I'm glad I read this. I'm sure (as I can see below) many identify with the subject.

Good write.

[RomaJ]

Relic, Thank you for dropping by and your heartfelt review. I am honored:) It says a lot of what I was feeling when I wrote this and yes, I do still get a little "twinge" now and then but not as bad as when I wrote this. I do find joy in writing and it helps but I'm still trying to find my bliss, hopefully we all find our bliss through our writes. Thank you again:)

[Relic]

No problem, you're welcome.

[Calamity]

Goodness, yes. If I didn't feel it before I do now.
I'm always amazed at how open people are, the emotions that are so deep are hard to capture for me.
Well done.

[RomaJ]

Wow thank you so much for your kind words. It was just an overwhelming and terrible feeling I had to get it out somehow lol

[Dathan]

This is wow such imagery and
emotional pain expressed so exquisitely there. I can
definitely definitely relate.

[RomaJ]

Thank you so much

[Gene]

I really enjoyed this poem. I feel it too. You never know what exactly it is you need to fill that hollowed spot, or when it will sneak up on you. Knowing you are surrounded by loved ones and still feeling hollow within is hard to explain and I think you captured that feeling well.

[RomaJ]

Thank you I'm glad you enjoyed it. And you make a great point "being surrounded by friends and loved ones but still feeling hallow" it's truly hard to explain and hard to talk to them about it:) but I'm glad you understand. Thank you again.

[Leviathus Fortes]

Despair. Anxiety. Emptiness.

Something there, but something lacking.

I feel it.

[RomaJ]

"something there but something lacking" exactly. at times, I think I know what it is and then it escapes me. just a feeling of heaviness. thank you for your review.

[GeraldFIngBurke]

The depth of emotion expressed in your imagery is all too familiar. My favorite pieces to read are the ones that reflect my own affliction. This was meaningful and I'm glad to have read it. Thank you.

[RomaJ]

Thank you Gerald for your kind words. I truly appreciate it.

[Styna]

I really enjoyed this poem.
And as someone who's dealt with anxiety attacks for many years, this felt very deep and accurate.

[RomaJ]

Thank you Styna. For your review and kind words.

[blue cave]

yes Roma J., at times
hope expressing it was helpful...

[RomaJ]

It is:) Thank you blue cave

[A Glow in the Pit of My..]

This flows very nicely! I love the "olde" style of writing, it often helps with rhyming, which can come off childish and lame sometimes -- but not so with yours!!
{Sidenote: I can relate to panic attacks, I have social and general anxiety disorders)

[RomaJ]

Glow, thank you for your thoughtful review. I appreciate it. I had this panic attack while I was driving...terrifying. I pulled over of course and typed this on my notes. These attacks can sneak up on me but most times, I can catch them and take a breather. Writing helps:)

[A Glow in the Pit of My Soul]

Those are so scary, I know them all too well. My face and hands went numb for the first time when I had one while driving. Believe me, I sympathize with you. Writing helps me too, I word vomit a lot of the time... and then spend 3 hours revising it. It certainly gets my mind focused on other things!

[RomaJ]

Aww man, I know that numbness feeling. I'm just glad, I didn't pass out. Writing is a great outlet.. It's therapeutic.

[Kelsey Ann]

So beautiful!! I also enjoy the title's alliteration very much :)

[RomaJ]

Thank you, Kelsey. It was a pleasure reading your works, you are an amazing poetess and storyteller. I am a fan:)