If Tonight

If tonight I knocked on your door,

would the air remember my name?

Would your eyes soften,

even for a heartbeat,

at the ghost of me standing there?

I ache to fold into you,

to trace the familiar lines

that no one else could ever hold,

to let the warmth between us

replace the cold walls I have carried

through all these long months.

But love is patient,

and love is cruel,

and love sometimes means

turning away

from the one who still holds your heart.

I linger in the shadow of your light,

feeling every brush of memory,

your laughter,

the tilt of your smile,

the faint scent you leave behind,

the weight of your absence pressing into me.

I raise my hand,

wanting to cross that threshold,

but I stop.

I walk away,

because some loves are too tender

to force,

too fragile to claim.

And still, in the quiet,

I carry you,

a pulse, a scent, a shadow

that will not fade,

even as the night swallows

the echo of my knock.

Author's Note

This poem is metaphorical, but the metaphor lives in the reflection of the speaker’s internal experience, even as she ultimately turns away.

Reviews

[Jansy]

I see you added an Author's note... there was no need.

As a guy, I totally get it. I’ve had moments where I drove hours to see someone, wrestling with my inner-chaos of thoughts the whole way- trying not to crash, lol. Even as I stood at her door, hand raised to knock, I hesitated and walked away. I relate to this completely. I even went to a bar afterward, to drink the "metaphorical experience" instead of overthinking it, haha.

But honestly, walking away was the best decision, because it just wasn’t the right time. If the love is true and strong, it will return… and eventually, you’ll both be in that place where there’s no hesitation, no barriers of a closed door and you greet each other, openly, with an embrace. My go-to karaoke song, 'Open Arms'. I'm pretty sure I went to a karaoke bar haha. The best way to handle this kind of heart ache is to drink and sing.

James☆

[RomaJ]

That's actually a great song. I'm impressed a 22 year old knows journey

[Jansy]

Well, my dad and uncles sing that all the time. My dad loves karaoke, so yes, I've heard all the classics. I probably won't remember the names of the actual singer or group, but I'll remember the song.

[Jansy]

Drink and sing, and then, keep drinking.. until the poetry, that comes afterwards, begins to start writing itself haha

[RomaJ]

You are wise beyond your years, young poet.

[Thomas W Case]

Such a tender, aching reflection on love and absence. I love how the poem captures longing without desperation—the way memory and presence linger is beautifully rendered. Every line carries quiet emotion that stays with you.

[Carrie]

Too fragile to claim. So sad so true, the fear of rejection. The echo of my knock

[RomaJ]

Thank you Carrie. I appreciate your thoughts and thank you for reading

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree dear Roma.
"But love is patient,
and love is cruel,
and love sometimes means
turning away
from the one who still holds your heart."
Love can be trickery. I told my children. Know the person before you give your heart away. It is sad lesson we must learn dear Roma. We can return to the same place in love. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[RomaJ]

Thank you Coyote. I appreciate your thoughts. I confess, I wrote this poem, imagining if my husband left me for a younger woman. I know it's silly and we have been married 25 years now but I can't help but think of these scenarios.

[Desert Knave]

Love the lines "some loves are too tender to force, too fragile to claim.". I have someone in my life that I remain clear of because I do not want the pain, as much as I want the love. Anyhow, really enjoyed this one. ~Jim

[RomaJ]

Thank you, Jim. I’m so glad those lines resonated with you. I understand that tension between desire and restraint..it’s a delicate balance, and sometimes the kindest choice is to honor what’s tender by stepping back. I appreciate you sharing that with me, and your words mean a lot.

[John the Baptist]

There is a time to seize the day in love and a time to refrain from seizing. This offering refers to the latter. When love is deeply felt, it is extremely hard to release it because "some loves are too tender to force." Those who can do this are to be admired. Hopefully, their maturity will some day be rewarded.

[RomaJ]

Thank you so much, John. I really appreciate how thoughtfully you’ve read the poem. Yes..sometimes the truest act of love is letting go, and I wanted to honor that tenderness and restraint. Your reflection beautifully captures that quiet courage.

[Neville]

it may well be metaphorical Roma but it's still an awesome bit o poetry if you don't mind me saying .. Neville 😎🌻👍

[RomaJ]

Thank you so much, Neville. I really appreciate your kind words..it means a lot that the poem resonated, even if its heart is wrapped in metaphor. I’m glad it could reach you in some way.

[Soren]

Roma this one I see as two fold on the one hand it has to do with timing and patience on the other it may have to do with accepting that the relationship is not the best thing for the other. True and deep love is about doing what is best for the one loved not self and in that sacrifice love is shown. Unlike passion that is a selfish love self sacrifice is a giving love even if it means giving up the relationship that one desires tor the good of the other. It reminds me of Dickens Tale of two cities

[RomaJ]

Thank you, Soren. I really appreciate how closely you read the poem and the depth of your reflection. I love what you said about love being a balance between patience, timing, and selfless care..doing what is best for the one you love, even if it means sacrifice. That’s exactly the heartbeat of this piece: love as both tender and brave, a quiet devotion that doesn’t always follow desire. Your comparison to A Tale of Two Cities is beautiful..it captures that tension between longing and duty perfectly.

[Michael Sun Bear]

“I carry you, a pulse, a scent, a shadow that will not fade”……I love those three lines, love the entire poem actually. I have lived over six decades now and have had my share of unrequited love, of relationships that failed and broke. I think a well written poem such as this, dealing with the pain of love, is all the more deeply felt the more one has lived, the more one has experienced this universal human condition. I felt your poem deeply. It made me think much about my first great love who eventually left me. The pain of losing her was so great I would try to drink away the pain, and drunk more than once I stood at her door, I did knock and the result only made the pain worse. Take a listen to an oldish recording Joe Cocker singing Guilty. I played that song over and over after our breakup, it so described my state of being. Anyhow, great poem Roma.

[RomaJ]

Thank you, Michael. I’m deeply touched by your words and the life you’ve lived through love and loss. I’m honored that this poem resonated with your own experiences..the ache, the longing, the lingering memory. Your story of standing at her door brings the emotions vividly to life, and the way you connected it to Joe Cocker’s Guilty makes it feel timeless. I’m grateful you shared that with me. ❤️

[red93]

The imprint of a great and true Love never leaves you Roma. I am still 'in love' with my Oxford Girlfriend, whom I haven't heard from for years. 'What will survive of us is Love.' Really Excellent ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[RomaJ]

Thank you, red. I love what you said..“What will survive of us is Love.” That’s exactly the heart of this poem, and your words make it even more meaningful. ✨

[red93]

✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[Chris Shaw]

Sometimes, the time and circumstances aren’t right. That doesn’t mean the love isn’t there. It can take great courage to walk away. This poem is beautifully rendered Roma and evocative with its scent and shadows that will not fade. Secrets of the heart. A lovely piece.

Chris

[RomaJ]

Thank you so much, Chris. I’m glad the poem’s quiet echoes and lingering shadows resonated with you. I appreciate your kind and thoughtful words.