Slowly Slipping

I'm slowly slipping away without even realizing it

I sigh deeply in my room, alone, I sit

Breath in and breath out, normal things

I don't move as the phone rings

Another message I'll just delete

I just wonder what fate we'll all meet

My friends wonder what's wrong

As I sing my sad song

I write this poem and wonder why

Why do I waste my time

I'm slowly slipping away, but now I realize it

I sigh deeply in my room, no longer alone, I sit

 

Author's Note

I haven't written a poem in a while, please tell me if I should just stay away from it all together

Reviews

[Ellusive Rose]

This poem has potential. You just need to make the flow better. I can understand where you're coming from. The emotion is there. I just think the flow is a little off. Don't worry though. It's still good. Even if you're an excellent writer, there's always more room for improvement, is what my mother says. So don't let this bother you. Keep at it and you'll go far. Hope this helps :D if not oh well TT_TT.

[Pencalibur]

yeah, i agree with wolfe. don't give it up, it's probably just a little rusty, but you should work on making it flow a little better. There's not really any meter to it, some lines are so much longer than others. Hope I help =D

[Wolfe Greytome]

I would call this poem mediocre, but if you haven't written one in a while, that mediocrity could simply be rust. There are hints of brilliance in this piece and my opinion is that you should embrace this genre and continue writing poetry.