Palace

In defiance of the season

Hand in hand, one dark, hair shining in the sun,

One fair, skin and hair turned golden by the glowing orb.

Passion spoken in the bags they carry,

tools of the trade, carefully assembled:

Vessels of varied sizes and shapes, 

force damp sand into the perfect form.

Shovels, trowels, a wooden ruler,

shape smooth errant fabrication.

A majestic castle takes shape under

practiced hands,

Arched openings etched into the surface,

chiseled away.

Beach scoured for shells,

Iridescent treasures,

flecks twinkle in daylight.

Tenuous structure

complete and adorned,

it's architects enter the surf.

Swimming becomes

 floating,                           

                                                  suspended

  weightless.

Clouds cross the sky, 

Spaceships and dragons revealed

Vanishing within fleeting moments.

Tide crashes in,

Atlantis claims one more palace

for its watery depths. 

Author's Note

A friend gave me some words, so thank you!

I think I wrote this in defiance of our early snowfall, or maybe as a farewell to summer.

All constructive feedback is always welcome.

Reviews

[ROXANE DORSEY]

very nice. thanks for sharing your talents.

[Einstein Noodle]

dreamlike experience in reading .. enjoyed the metaphors, word play, personifications and language .. free form is perfect for such a poem says i! such a pleasant feeling emoted in me ..ahhhhhh the floating and sky reading ... great start to me day ma'am!
E.

[Jibey]

You bring the scene alive with well chosen detail. Interesting use of form for the surfing. The final wipe-out serves to remind us of much of life's transient pleasures - and the passing of summer.

'Orb' - slightly archaic, to me, though clear enough. It's - a familiar typo. You meant its.

[Relic]

I can see all the images you've described as though I were walking behind you.

[Shannon]

Thank you. As you know, this kind of feedback is important to me. Because I can't see it

[wordman]

you painted some great images

[Shannon]

Thank you. That's always a big complement in my book.

[CLR9]

Cool poem. I'm not too keen on poetry, but this one made me think of something of the Romantic Era than anything else. The idea of the ephemeral nature of all things seems to be the kick of this poem. I really dig that.

I'll make a suggestion though, you use "its" for possession. You have "it's"

Easy fix, hope you keep writing.

Craig

[Shannon]

Thank you for the read and review. This one is one of my more romantic pieces.
Thank you for the fix, too.

[Azif]

your work allows amazing imagery. loved it!

[Shannon]

Thank you for the read and review.

[Samuel Dickens]

Well, this lovely summer vision had me on the beach for a while. Not only was I there, but I was young! (Can't beat that) Very nice work, Shannon.

[Shannon]

Thank you Sam. Many people seem to be transported to a younger time by this one. Glad to have brought some good memories your way. When I leave things open ended, I hope you can write yourself in.

[GreenShoes]

Oh, wow! You are really good! Those last two stanzas were fantastic! This poem was an absolute joy to read. :)))))

[Shannon]

Thank you very much. It's always interesting to see what parts speak to people.

[Dave]

You stirred up so many pleasant memories. I was born and raised in Atlantic City. As children we lived on the beach during the summer. Castles were our forte. Sometimes there was a whole gang of us working on one huge one. Thank you for the stirring.

[Shannon]

Exactly. Except, the beach was rural Saskatchewan. Glad to have stirred some memories.