Inevitable

Inevitable.
Falling upon
Leaving only
Darkness

Wait.
Look
Do you
See it?

There
In the distance.
That glimmer
On the horizon.

The first ray
Breaking through
Chasing darkness
Striking out

Turn towards it
Tip your face upward
Feel the power
Let it transport you

Absorb the warmth
Carry it with you
For combat when falls
Darkness.

Author's Note

All constructive feedback always welcome, especially in regards to punctuation.

Reviews

[Verdant Cynic]

That sounds like death to me. Feeling darkness come, with that tunnel of light. It's an interesting and terrifying subject. When we are near death, do we see the heavens beyond, or is it an illusion our brains play to make us accept death?

Thanks for sharing!

[Paul Bell]

I suppose fate takes us into darkness.
Hope disappearing as we sink deeper.
Some eventually see the light and grow.
Sadly some just don't make it.

[Einstein Noodle]

punctuation is always a bugger..especially with free verse which breaks rules and defies it ... personally i usually leave it out altogether ...maybe try to throw one in here and there to try and accent a pause or ...whatever ... in V1 L2 i am hanging on a cliff .. teetering ... falling upon what??? so i read it a couple more times and simply stay with the feeling ... ;)
your poem is trimmed to the brim says i ..a story told with just enough o spark my own experiences hopes and fears ..love the be prepared and combat parts! i wonder if i will ever really learn the lesson...don't drive the darkness out ...simply turn the lights on ;) very stimulating and enjoyable read for me Shannon .. it draws me in, connects me with the warmth and faith of light .. carries me through
E.

[Relic]

Hope is always something that will come around if we're willing to wait and have faith.

Nice one, Shannon.

[Taino]

The warmth of the sun on ones face, the darkness opposing the light, the warmth that lifts the spirit. I truly enjoyed your poem. Please keep writing and creating.

[Shannon]

What an interesting reminder Taino, as I haven't been. I appreciate the nudge.

[Justin]

That is was great!!! U were able to tell a great story!!! The presentation was great!!!

[Shannon]

Thank you Justin. This one is about strength

[Samuel Dickens]

Observing, pondering a sunrise and it's struggle against the dark. Not in a pensive way, but one of resoluteness. Very nice!

[Shannon]

Thank you. I like that language. Not pensive but resolute.

[Richard Charles]

Great positive energy to this! Left me with a nice warm secure feeling. Steeled and prepared for whatever comes this way.

[Shannon]

That you. I was hoping to create that sense.

[Daniealla]

I love the short structure it emphasizes the fast tension. Great work :)

[Shannon]

I am glad you enjoyed. Thank you for the read and review.

[Jibey]

The romantic breaking through! Beautifully constructed. The taut lines penetrate the darkness wonderfully.

[Shannon]

I love these short, taut lines. I'm glad they worked for you.