Sleepy as an ant on a sugar pile

It is niight and my mind is wondering like an ant thats lost on a pile of sugar on the back of a  now moving truck..

My thoughts slip and slide and I am not sure where we are going but I feel funny vibrations.

I guide with my strength just to keep from falling off the pile into sleep or worse yet a bumby night mare.

But i am  to sure footed for that; and besides the sugar taste   so sweet ,even thow its slipery to my feet.

Well I don't know if I can go on my smiles getting to big  and well woops I thing we hit a bumb in the road oh I am getting sleepy.  But could'nt I find just a few more sweet words to eat they taste so good. My this is silly and now the road seems hilly the piles sliding sideways and off  to sleep    i                   i              i    must  go.

Reviews

[Angel's Lady]

"could'nt I find just a few more sweet words to eat" - I really like this line! But you totally pulled me in to read this one with the title! It had such a southern feel to it and I am a southern gal! haha Great write!

[A Word]

I don't know how you meant to write your poem; when I read it, I get a real old school southern funk about it and I like it. Especially the ending.

I seen a lot of grammatical errors though and I don't know if they are intended to be there. For instance "thow" is "though", when you said "to big" it should be "too big" because you are stressing your point. However, none of those errors change the poem at all - I love it all the same.

[Rosary]

hehe i like this one