My life

very first poem i ever wrote, revised, but alot is still the original

Down, down, down i go

Falling through my pain

Im bleeding, bleeding, crying, crying

Nothings keeping me sane

I feel like im slowly dying

From all the pointing and laughing

I had hope when i was sad

I didnt know

I could hurt so bad

Then they left me in the dust

Sad, alone, and scared

I'll never get back that trust

Reviews

[Hiddenfire]

again the emotions this piece portrays are brought to life and you want to just hug the narrator and tell them that everything will work out eventually, even if it's going to suck in the meantime. I love the repetition used in this, it adds that extra layer of rhythm that the poem can build and rely on.
Only typo's to mention is the occasional lowercase "I" other than that it was all seamless.