Fleeting Luminescence.

We could only sigh as the sun departed.
It's glow was too meager to sustain itself, and
I gaped at it's vacancy.

I revered the bleak cold it left,
 and I prostrated myself in the dirt.
It was pathetic.

I couldn't stand, so you grabbed my arm and
Traced the folds in my hand.
You said that I was lucky to be something.

I stood to face you.
The sun left it's mark upon your cheek,
Taking hold in the night.

My eyes couldn't hold steady, they were
Anxious to free themselves, but you
Dragged me away before they could speak.

You pressed me against a tree, it swayed.
We could feel the earth teeter.
We tumbled through, laughing.

Reviews

[Ryan Rivers]

Nice use of imagery, descriptives are strong and influence our senses positively.

I like it.

[E. Greene]

Thank you very much. i'm trying to find my niche for poetry, so I appreciate the feedback.

[Ryan Rivers]

no problem, I know it's hard to find people that review haha good luck with it though.