I wish you were mine...

Trying another song...

Anywhere...
Everywhere...
I just see your face,
I feel you in this air...

I'm here...
And I'm in fear...
It hurts so much inside,
And I'm all tears...

I wish you were mine,
With all my heart I've been trying,
I wish we could fly away,
But you always kept on lying...
I wish you were mine,
Now look, I'm crying,
I gave you my everything,
Now all what left is dying...


It's been so long...
I've been praying along...
Just waiting for you,
But I was so damn wrong...

I tried to be strong...
Wrote too many songs...
Thinking it might change your heart,
But I was so damn wrong...

I wish you were mine,
With all my heart I've been trying,
I wish we could fly away,
But you always kept on lying...
I wish you were mine,
Now look, I'm crying,
I gave you my everything,
Now all what left is dying...


Now look at me...
I'm on my knees...
I'm crying your name,
Please hear my plea...

Sorrows, deeper than sea...
and you are the key...
Now kiss my lips,
And set me free...

I wish you were mine,
With all my heart I've been trying,
I wish we could fly away,
But you always kept on lying...
I wish you were mine,
Now look, I'm crying,
I gave you my everything,
Now all that's left is dying...

Author's Note

It's incomplete, not exactly how I framed it, so I'll be making many more changes in it. Your views will be very valuable...Thank you...:)

Reviews

[Moonlight]

This piece is indeed a very sad one. I liked how you were able to get through the strong emotions he feels on being heartbroken. The feeling of emptiness one feels when the one person he/she loves lies to him/her is something probably incomparable to any sorrow. The plea of the poet is beautifully pictured... something that is quite difficult when using repetition. This piece of yours effectively communicates the anguish and pain of the writer. I really loved it. :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you Shivangi, I'm glad you liked it...:)

[EshaA]

Give it a nice ending and it looks fine...

[Adiyah]

Nice*

[Sanjh]

Thanks again...:)

[Adiyah]

A very nie nd a deeppoem in d form of a song

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Adiyah...:)

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chu..]

You captured the romance in a mood that revealed feelings and wishes. Well done.

[Sanjh]

Thanks brother :)

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chukwuebuka Benson]

You're welcome.

[Linda alexander]

Great writing especially for a song

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much linda :)

[LadyNaida]

Wow, this is deep. Is an expression of true love and feelings for someone special. It sounds like a song!

[Sanjh]

Yes, it's a song, thank you so much for reading.:)

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Great description of love, good job

[Sanjh]

Thank you Sir :)

[SoulWriter]

But you always kept on lying...
I wish you were mine,
Now look, I'm crying

This hits very deep

Really good poem.

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much :)

[Lyndy]

I like this song, it's a beautiful one! :D

[Sanjh]

Thanks Lyndy, glad you liked it :)

[Hailey noice]

This is a great poam. Keep up the good work.

[Sanjh]

Thanks Hailey :)