The Smoke of my Fire

hmm... the idea of how smoke lives off a dying fire

Why do you suffocate me?

When your heart departs my fire, 

You live like smoke off my fading embers,

As Apollo and his lyre,

You sing your dark melody,

As each log still chars to pyre,

Like the smoke rises from sullen ashes,

My death is your own desire,

You parasite, you Judas,

When I call you out, you liar,

You escape like smoke of my fallen breath,

Singing your charms of the choir,

Author's Note

I like the idea of smoke living off a dying fire. Seems kinda cool :P

Reviews

[Shep]

I like the idea of burning everything with fire. it has mystery and emotion all in one swoop. nicely done.

[LazerRays]

Thank you :) I use to be quite the pyromaniac as a child to be honest ;)

[AllenS]

Absolutely cool! Such a unique direction and helpful insite grieving a breakup.

[LazerRays]

Thank you Allen, I'm pretty much brain dead cuz right now it's 1:30 AM and imma sleep. But I'll review you later. Thankkkksss! :D

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Yes indeed - the 'smokey aftermath' does choke our hearts and creates an apprehension to rekindle a burnt out relationship - Loved your write and really enjoyed the read - ... :-)

[LazerRays]

Thank you phill! That means a lot to me :) smoke does suffocate us in a burnt out relationship and we often choke trying to relight that. I guess just leave it and try not to breathe it in

[Iam-me]

Hold onto a relationship that is over. With someone who was a cheater. Is not good for your heart, mind or soul. Wonderful flow of words and nice use of Apollo and Judas into this write. A beautiful flowing piece Sarah. Great images casted inside my mind.

[LazerRays]

Thank you so much dawn. Thst means a lot to me :3
I appreciate you stopping by, and hahaha I liked using Judas and Apollo in this very much.

[Tony]

I liked the allusions to Apollo and Judas it really added substance to the poem. Also I enjoyed the rhyming and over all flow your work.

[LazerRays]

Thank you Tony! Glad you appreciate! :D

[Tony]

My pleasure!

[Craig Harbor]

This is excellent. It leaves questions and thoughts in the mind of the reader which is something all good poetry should do. The imagery is fantastic too.

[LazerRays]

Thank you Craig! I'm glad you like this :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Living off a dying fire - perhaps because the smoke knows it can't survive without it so it keeps clinging as much till it finally dies. I take it as clingy relationships where one just doesn't know how to let go and being totally dependent on the other.
Interesting last stanza. I like this piece.

[LazerRays]

nope! thats not it at all. its about someone who kinda takes amusement in anothers pain even though that person loves them. idk; i got the idea from years ago... and finally found the right words to write it :D
and thank you Yumna

[Dr. YumnaKay]

hmm I can't get that idea around my head...you're welcome, Sarah.

[LazerRays]

whyyyy? hahahahaah

[¿]

It reads like venting out anger calmly...poetically!
The thought of smoke living off a dying fire is cool....hot at the same time ;)
I loved the second verse much....gloriously penned!💖

[LazerRays]

ah, being calmly angry is the best form of anger. Thank you Tahsin for stopping by here :3 and yeah, it is kinda hot haha

[Chris Shaw]

Clinging on for life. That's what I get from your words Sarah, a really good poem by the way. When it's over, it's over. Some people just don't get the message. Hope you are OK dear one?

Chris

[LazerRays]

I'm fine thank you :P and thank you for that lovely review! i appreciate you stopping by and writing that hahaha, and yeah; i guess some people dont get the message. im glad you liked this :D

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

When we get burned by another lies venting is the best way to put out the fire,

Very well written.

[LazerRays]

Thank you Cowboy! I appreciate that comment of yours :) that's a good tip too :D thanks for stopping by!