I Think I Love You

I hate bleed, and plant seeds  

Between laughing and screaming 

I'm on the verge of crying 

Touch me and I'll end up dying  

All I want is stability  

But the pain inside is rehabilitating 

You remind me of what I could be, 

A different life and I would die free,  

But I'm a slave to a show; performing 

And this emotion keeps reforming,  

  think I love you,  

But I'm in love with my fear   

 I'll scream and retreat  

Know a God believes  

Leviticus 18:22  

I know can't have you 

Author's Note

Gay.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I have known madness and I sought similar people.
"think I love you,
But I'm in love with my fear"
Fear is cool. Once I suicide the sea and I free-climbed every mountain near. I had the feel of testing life and death. I liked the drive of these words.
Coyote

[barleygirl]

This reminds me of the kind of person who seems to long for someone, or craving attention, but being unable to open up & embrace in warm loving ways, this person subconsciously pushes away the very things he/she most wants from life. Your title is steeped in doubt & your poem seemingly rinsed in self-defeat (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[LazerRays]

Thank you so much for your review! Yes, it is full of self doubt and subconsious self sabotage

[Chris]

Your words seem kind of real and thought-full to me.

[LazerRays]

100% real yeah. Thank you for your review

[Robert Trakofler]

this creature of self disdain that resonates for longing touch does recognize the dichotomy of wanting to be loved and believing he does not merit such grace at the same time. strangely my young friend I started a poem this morning entitled "The Marginal Eyes-d" thinking of this very thing!

[LazerRays]

You, my friend use hard words. I will just agree with you and pretend I understand. Thanks for your review!

[Just Kim]

So very nicely written and said.

[LazerRays]

Thank you :))

[The dark Hydra]

This says the opposite of what I think about this

[LazerRays]

3/10 slam. Not creative. Not original. Spice it up, try the use of hardcore words like "abominable" and "snowman"

[Einstein Noodle]

so much conflict and pain in this ... confusion ... its tough finding one's way in the world .. especially when raw emotion has such sway on our thinking ... the reference to Leviticus and your note are interesting .. major religions most all call those who choose to follow the teachings .. call us to purity .. its not a curse ... its a guide ;) V1 L4 reminds me instantly of the plant mimosa pudica and that scene in "Avatar" when Jake Sully first walks through those plants ... i hope you are staying well and safe in these difficult times ... i think your poem is very complex .. lots of layers and paths of thought one could go down .. thanks for sharing!
E.

[LazerRays]

glad you noticed the leviticus, Thank you so much for your review!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

to love someone but to love fear more...happiness becomes elusive...
too elusive.
j.

[LazerRays]

Thank you for your comment and review :)