Ode To Pain

A friend of mine asked me to post a poem and I was reminded of my ex, so here is a depressing poem about the past. This has too many words to be a song by Taylor Swift.

Further I decend into your loving embrace
To feel no pain, to feel your love
Yet, I come to no avail
Further I decend into the future
With you in my arms
The pain is still evident
When you whisper lies in my ear
A never ending pain is what I feel
Breathless and shaken
My soul is for the taking
While you play me for all my worth
Further I decend into the darkness
Without a whole heart
I barely make a sound
There is no one around
To help me embrace the light
I have yet to win this fight
Further I sink
In my own internal doom
I love you and yet I hate you
For burying me in this despair
That I will never recover
Mi amore

Author's Note

This may have sucked, but go ahead and tell me what you thought about it.

Reviews

[PearlPoet]

I think satis pretty much said it all.. Why dont you revise it and let us reread it again? :)

[Craig2591]

I'm not good with poetry, either writing it or reviewing it, but I'll give it a try. I get a good description of what it's like to continue falling deeper into a relationship that you know is bad for you, but you keep falling. I think we've all been there.

[Neon]

Love poem, emotional, depressing and deep poem. The theme you chosen to pen on is very good because in today's life everybody who's in love passing through such kinda moments of life. Everything's nicely penned. I don't think there's a need to improve anything because it's a well penned write.

[Daisy Smith]

Well I love how depressing of a love poem it sounds. You used your rhymes well, and how you describe the feeling is very deep. I can defiantly feel what your trying to get across from this poem, and it's very good in my opinion.

[Marie]

It's another love poem. Better than some, not as good as some others.

[Ahmad Cox]

Very deep and rich and honest. I liked it. It definitely doesn't suck.

[Rose of many colours]

This is not sucked,Gods' love is so deep his love will pull you out no matter how deep you are buried in trouble, while you are sinking his love is sinking deeper to set you free.. i have been there and I was experiencing those feelings. now i can say Only GOd but God.. you are a friend of God he Calls you Friend..

[Latifa]

For burying me in this despair
I like this line

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Satis and Kimmy have said it very comprehensively

[Kimberly Wolke]

The message in this poem is very powerful. However I do feel like you should maybe reword it a little better to get a better flow through the piece so people get the full effect of it. It is rather good tho :)