My "Silence"

Have you ever wished that you could turn off your thoughts just for a moment?

People would often say that I am silent,

Too silent to the point that I would seem distant from the rest.

Some might think that I am secretly judging them which explains my quietness,

While others would assume that I am just a loner who cannot fit into society.

But no, I am just too busy thinking to even care what everyone is thinking about me.

My mind is like a factory running without any certainty of when it will end because it never really ends.

Sometimes I'm in a daydream, a gleaming safe haven, laden with landscapes, sceneries, scenarios. 

It is simply an escape from reality, a different reality too perfect to wake up from.

Other times I'm in a nightmare, an impairing coffin, confined with my self-destructing, self-sabotaging, self-deprecating thoughts that I thought have finally left me alone.

That is just how I am.

I am constantly battling against myself just so I could battle again the next day.

It may look like I'm at peace, but honestly, I am screaming for help in the midst of my "silence".