Mad Sprinter

Dip.
Dive.
Duck.
Dodge.
Start running fast like sonic the hedgehog.
Slide.
Jump.
Dip.
Dash.
Faster faster faster as the red lights flash!
Catch me if you can!
Im the mad sprinter.
You cant catch me
Im the mad winner!
Dip dip dip
Yeah you better not trip.
Once you hit that slip
Your done. Thats it.
Run Run Run.
As fast as you can.
Jump of that clif and see where you land.
Im the mad sprinter
Imma run quick!
You try to run faster than me your gonna get sick.
Im the f*****g s**t.
Lets see if this will click.
........
It doesnt?
Well aint that a b***h.

Reviews

[Aethereal]

Perhaps if you interlace your sounds, and end your single word columns with a metered five syllable line it would sound better, but you do as you wish since you're the master of your poetic ship. Your poetic strategy is a good one though. As an example of my idea: (If you can sing it with a rhythm then you've got it!)


Dip,
skip
dive
hedgehog will survive.

Slide,
glide
thump
faster, faster, jump.

Catch me if you can.
Try to sprint like me.
Be the better man.
racing from that tree.

[Sayonara]

Hahaa thanks!
I though it sound like a song. But its a poem :-)
Hahahaha I was so bord on the trolly and I just wanted to make a nice poem. :-)
But thanks for your review :-)

[Aethereal]

Just because a poem isn't a song, is no reason for it not to have rhythm. if you can sing your poem with a beautiful cadence then you have a winner. Meter helps one to build cadence within one's poem. Rhyme isn't necessary just so long as you have rhythm. Good verse has rhythm. Sound is important in poetry otherwise we'd just have a number for each word and write poems in streams of numbers. The syllables in each line should beat out the rhythm that you desire your poem to have.