Tethered

A little more traditional

My name, from my lover's lips, it does fall
and there I melt into your whispered call.
Caressing my ears are the words of love.
sending my soul on the wings of a dove;
I’m no longer bound to this earthly form,
into ethereal bliss I transform.

All that from the words that roll off your lips,
think of my response to your fingertips
as they’re resting in the curves of my face
then slowly down my jawline do they trace,
around my collarbone, they dance their dance;
gliding around, leaving me in a trance.

Then into my eyes you intently stare,
letting me know we are a perfect pair.

And in your hand, my hand is tightly bound,
gently bringing me back down to the ground.

Reviews

[Laura Maidah]

From my lover's lips, does my name fall.

(It keeps your meter and isn't double-inverted. "Love" and "dove" sounds like a commercial. "Form" and "transform" are the same suffix. The second to last stanza is pretty phenomenal. The rhyme isn't clunky, or cheesy like the dove commercial. Lol. And the last stanza is your crux that relates back to a delicious title. Overall, A minus. Haha. "Face" "trace" really works, btw.

[afra]

good story ...keep writing

[Dove]

into ethereal bliss I transform".... those are words written by a true artist. The first line of this piece just totally pulled me in and it made me want to read more. Great job on this

[w]

Thank you so much. I wrote it in about 15 minutes in response to someone else's piece they let me read.

[Alana McGuire]

Wow, this is entirely lovely. I love the way you expressed the feeling of love taking hold and leaving its effect on each part of your upper body. It's a beautiful read about your emotions for your special someone.

[Laura Maidah]

I had no idea people still said "your special someone" except Hallmark executives.

[Alana McGuire]

Ha, I guess I'm just a bit different. :)

[w]

I have a wife and some kids, no "special someone" though. ;)

[allie_arrowz]

Isn't your wife someone special? Jerk.

[w]

Oh yeah. I guess she is. Sometimes.

[allie_arrowz]

i keep reading your comment. and it keeps telling me i haven't read it. glitch

[Laura Maidah]

Is there a "happily married"? I personally think that's the biggest scam ever invented. EVer.

[allie_arrowz]

i think it comes down to the happiness of the individual.

[w]

I'm happy, she's not. Living with a full-time writer is a b*tch.

[Laura Maidah]

Lol. What's that like? I am a half-time writer. It kind of sucks for relationships. I pretty much am bipolar and I become my characters; I wear them with me and even though I'm not ACTUALLY bipolar, I get pretty bitchy when I get stuck on something. And as for the "happiness of the individual" comment, I'm pretty sure that's a Hallmark card. Their execs would love you.

[allie_arrowz]

thanks. new career option.

[w]

I'm the full time writer so you would have to ask her how it is, but I know it involves lots of yelling and long periods of silence.

[Kortney]

I really like how it has a hmm a melody to it. That of course is not thee right word,but i did love it. Makes me think of thee one i love (:

[Kuhr Gred]

like a love story.. great write :) thanks for sharing
- Kuhr Gred

[ForeverNever]

"into ethereal bliss I transform" Strong, amazing, unique, talented words..left me speechless; breathless..it was beautiful.

[Corset]

Bah, I like "From my lovers lips my name does fall"
"Sending my soul on the wings of doves" ( the "A" seems to throw off the count )
( "leaving me in a trance". maybe "leaving me entranced" counts better- try reading it aloud, but otherwise gorgeous! just gorgeous!

[Jordan A. Wilson]

very nice write

[Lily Mae]

I love the first line..it captured me and pulled me in and made me want more.. You didn't disappoint.. well done :) x