Yearning

I wrote this for a contest on a forum I'm a member of. The deadline isn't for another three weeks, so I thought I'd put it up here for critique.

Amber fields

Beneath an ocean of blue

A meadow lark chimes with the wind

Thin blades still wet with dew

 

Awakened quickly now

Utopia forever lost

A shrill cry escapes into the air

Sight now blocked with dust

 

Shadows long and thin

Across a sea of red

Sharp whistles and yelps resound

A whip upon my head

 

Gruffly frisked along

Sleep ne'er to be had

Chinks of metal utter in the air

Land now dark and drab

 

But a fire burns within

Ignites the broken soul

Breaking away with a single charge

Freedome becomes the goal

Author's Note

Not the most conventional poem ever written, but what do you guys think of it?