(em) pathetic

my surroundings permeate my essence
twisting and changing and altering matter
and nothing escapes.
their tears seep into my eyes and fall again
and shower on my pallid cheeks
so entangled in what they are
could you even see who i am
like the sea, pushing forward
and dragging debris back to my depths
it comes down to this
huddled on a kitchen counter
weeping over something i feel too much
or holding a sister as she's racked with sobs
i cannot control.
for his lost love, or her treacherous heart
the boy with the vacant eyes
and the deep shadows that enfold them.
the girl who cares too much and not enough
my lack of trust
my lack of faith.
even now.