words

the rain fell down,
and coaxed a sound
from me.
i let my umbrella fold
fell victim
to the cold.
it seems
betrayal these days
is mingled with pity.
there's a girl
that i love,
who is painfully pretty.

tonight
i am finally done with this city.

Reviews

[W.k.kortas]

The rhyme--subtle, but clearly there--gives it that ever so little bit of a nursery rhyme feel, which bumps up starkly against the reality of the situation. That's a fine device, and this is some (more) damn fine writing.