10/03/10

i painted you on a postcard
and sent you away
to be handled by the gruff men
who deliver the mail.
in the city
seventy starlings
made their headlong flight
into the cold concrete
of the paving stones
the impact smashed their tiny beaks
crushed their fragile little bones.
you came back to me
with a dent in your heart
lost and alone.
i am a fool--
and i gave you a home.

Reviews

[Robert Haigh]

Some inventive imagery in this poem. Sadness pervades the whole piece, I feel, even though it has an ostensibly upbeat ending.

[Karmee]

you came back to me
with a dent in your heart
lost and alone.
i am a fool--
and i gave you a home.

I loved the wording in this part,
very creative write so full of emotion,
Very well written

[M.E.Lyle]

This is both wonderful and terribly (not in a bad way) sad all at once. Do I spy an analogy in there?
There is longing, making mistakes, and forgiveness here.
I loved it...Oh, and beautifully written.

[h d e rushin]

I love poetry. Something happens here synapsed where a nervous impulse passes from one
blessed neuron to another. Try to carve it out of wood and you wouldn't get it right/
try to paint it and the sympathetic magic wont let the colors out to be truthfully
represented. Only poetry can do this. And only poetry has to,

wonderful write sea..dana

[zainul]

Splendid write.
The message is wonderful,

[Angi]

Sea Lily, this piece leaves me with so much sadness and also a feeling of wonder, too. The words puzzle and the words pull. It leaves me wanting more. That is poetry. Angi~

[zainul]

Sweet song of a passionate heart.

[LJW]

I LOVE THIS.

[InkSlinger]

Such a heaviness to this, powerful emotions. It has a very Charles Dickens feel to it. Like the imagery, and the message. Well done!

[Romeion Case]

Powerful....strong imagery and emotion.