Winter

A small snowflake fell from the sky

Damaged and Broken

When it hit the ground

The lights went out

A small petal fell from a tree

Blossoming and New

When it hit the ground

The birth of a child happened

The choice could have been

Between two greater evils

Between two greater goods

What fate did they decide to follow

There  was a snowflake

And there was a petal

If you could choose one

Which would you

The snowflake may break

But it could be the greatest shield

That weather can have

And that you can have

A petal may birth

But is could bring destruction

And kill the very being

Of humanity itself

Sometimes the winter

Can be as cold 

As the summer

All the same

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

This is an interesting concept - that every little event can have an effect on larger occurrences. If you turn left instead of right, is there an impact on the universe? I would like to see the details of those first two stanzas played out - more about those lights, that baby... Good and intriguing write!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I really enjoyed this very deep delicate poem Seimei, very well done, brilliant

[Ravyne Hawke]

We never know how the hand fate will deal us, but I think we do have a choice, like you say in your poem.. we can left instead of right, cross the street or keep walking the other way.. every difference we chose resets the universe for us. Excellent poem, btw =)

[Barbara Walker]

I agree with Harrisen.

[Harrisen Viator]

I really enjoy this, but I do have to say one thing.

Yes, there may be good and evil that comes from different aspects of life, but how can you better tie in those concepts with this poem? I would like to see how you could show more connection between your different concepts. How could you connect flowers and birth to death and destruction? Snowflakes with protection? and the same with the seasons. I think you have started with some interesting thoughts, but I feel like someone who can write as well as you can give more association between your thoughts.

[unsavable_soul]

I greatly enjoyed the concept of your work here. I felt it a little vague but mysterious in that sense. My only real thought was that maybe you give away the fish on the hook with your description... I kind of knew where the piece was heading so the value or strength in the ending was no surprise to me. I love the ideas and the sentiment it ends with. Just a thought from a lethargic mind.
Your friend
Chris

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I enjoyed reading this. The comparisons are slightly vague however and I think you might be able to strengthen the structure by painting in a bit more of your background. In what way could the snowflake be the greatest shield? In what way could the petal's birth bring destruction? (incidently you have a typo there...you have "is" for "it") And I would consider changing this one line, "What fate did they decide to follow" to "Which fate they decided to follow"... for both reasons of meter and clarity. Otherwise, it seems to ask a question that the reader has no way of answering...leading to confusion. Try to remember that the main purpose of your poem, whether to entertain, educate or inspire is always communication. Try to make an effort to make that connection with your reader. I know this isn't always easy. Sometimes we see a thing in our minds so clear that we expect others to share our vision, sight unseen. But it is the writers job to PRESENT that vision to his/her reader so that we carry them to the heart of our imagination. I hope you find this encouraging and will continue your effort to share your unique vision and perspective with us all. Good luck and great writing.