Back In Time

I sincerely wish

I could press a reset button

There are things I'd do over

Do better

There  are things I wouldn't say

Wouldn't do

There are also things

That I would do

A lot of people,

Don't want to press that reset button

I sincerely would

Because sometimes  it's just no the same

I could steal someone away

Make them safe

I would warn myself

To stay away

I would have never cause my mother pain

Or my sister grief

In the times when it was my fault

In the times where my sacrifice cause them pain

I want you to know

It isn't your fault

It might have been half your fault

But the both of us just couldn't get along

Your daughter became  a brat

For the longest time

I became more of a mother

More of wanting to be a child

You made my mother cry

You made her take pills

Though you also

Made me stronger

There are lies that I'd take back

Because that reset button told me too

I'd protect everything I had

I'd make sure you didn't have the chance to

I would make sure my love

Didn't feel any pain

Didn't feel worry

I'd make sure she was alright

We are all so fragile

So weak

But I wish I was stronger

I wish I was different

I could blame it on you

Out of hate

I could loath your daughter

But I cannot forgive you for making my family cry

I left home because of you

I met some better people because of you

My family is better

I am better, I guess

So I'll hold onto the hope

I'll make sure every second

Is not wasted

I want to press that reset button, but I won't

There are things I wouldn't change

There are things I would

And if it were just one

I would let you

Turn back

Author's Note

An open story of my life with an sexually abusive step father for the longest time. He was put in jail for his crimes two to three years ago. My younger sister is my half sister his daughter. And he made my family hurt for the longest time. My brothers didn't understand this hurt and simply moved on from their lives. And with my girlfriend so fragile, I hope that I can become a stronger person.

Reviews

[SHEEMA HUQ]

so sad, I was so moved, thanks for sharing, keep writing

[Barbara Walker]

This is an evil I wish no child had to experience. What I would want to do to the perpetrator cannot be written here.You are a sensitive soul, but with much strength. Your writing shows that. You can be there for others, but they must dig deep for the strength within themselves. Bless you.

[Ravyne Hawke]

I've played that "regret"game and the "what if"game so many times.. what if I did this different or that different and what I've come to the conclusion is all of that made me who I am now... the pain, hurt, abuse, love... you did an excellent job of working through that regret game in this piece and I enjoyed the journey with you. Solid ending!

[unsavable_soul]

Nice thoughts here,
You make some very valid points here, one should consider the possibilities of what they might do different. I also think they should move beyond such ideas with a firm grasp that the past is as much of a question mark as the future. Like the "Butterfly effect" in Chaos Theory. Simply put no one knows the outcome and the calculations to figure it out would be endless.
Very nice as always Abby,
Sincerely
Christopher

P.s. Left something for you on the comments portion of your wall hope you like it.

[Forgotten]

Alot of us want to go back in time, want to change something we did years ago or change how we acted. But the toughest but best thing we can do is accept it happened, and forgive ourselves and others for what happened. For in the long run the things which ail us in life are the things which make us who we are. Great write well done :)

[Sami Khalil]

This is an awesome confessional full of sincerity and appreciation for forgiveness. You have a good heart and a bright mind... Sorry for that hurtful story of your life. I hope you can find the strength to let go but it is hard...:)

[s y e]

"I could press a reset button
There are things I'd do over"

When something bad happens to us, we always want to rewind and try and change it but that's not how life works, this was such a touching, emotional write.

You have gone this hard time in your life, and you've came out even stronger than you were before. I agree with Rita; it is the good, bad, horrifying etc.... that makes us who we are. If it weren't for all that we probably wouldn't be the strong people we are today.

A good, touching write!

[Rivaxorus]

I honestly, if it meant others around me not hurting, would change the past regardless if I changed or not.

[Rita L. Sev]

Everyone wishes for that turning back of time, so many things we may have done differently. Yet, everything that we go through, good, bad, horrifying - goes into making us who we are. Best to embrace the now, grateful that we came through. A good, thoughtful write!