The One That Got Away

As time passed Tyler slowly became the catalyst of Bianca's life.

     Let me tell you the story of how I lost the most wonderful human to ever walk the streets of my small town.

This is a sample of the EBook

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      I knew he was the one the moment I saw him turning a corner over at Limon and Rose, strange naming is common in my town, so don’t judge. In any case, he was there just walking, when I saw, first his languish frame then his a-little-too-long-for-my-taste reddish hair, the deep blue “Keep Calm and love red-heads” t-shirt which almost, almost pulled a smile from my lips, warn-out black pants and of course to complete the outfit, a pair of deep-blue converse; he looked like he had dropped out of bed, pulled on the first thing he’d found and gone for a stroll on the park or that’s what I guessed from his slightly tousled hair.

 

  I was currently removing a few dishes from the tables outside my uncle’s establishment, the only place that sold healthy food in the whole freaking town, and by healthy I mean, everything you ate here was without an ounce of grease or sugar, I must admit it was actually delicious, you almost, nearly not noticed the difference. But back to the rather, good looking red-headed, blue-eyed, skinny boy that was coming my way while I looked like…. well like I had been working since 7 a.m. non-stop, on a Sunday and had had 4 hours of sleep the night before, due to the intoxicating new book I was reading; I did the only thing I could, I ducked my head remembering all that, he passed by me without noticing me, mainly because that was my objective and the other reason, he was listening to some hard metal tapping a finger against the outside of his jeans, how did I know what type of music? Oh yes, when he strolled by my side I could hear it all the way from his earplugs, he was going to go deft at some point given how loud the music was.

 

  That was our first encounter; I like to call it that even if he didn’t even acknowledge my presence. I should have stopped him, maybe turn clumsy out of the blue and drop something in front of him. As it was, I didn’t have smart-enough thoughts on my first glance with who could have been the love of my life.

 

  You may wonder why I say he was the one or possibly the love of my young life, and perhaps you might be saying by now that I’m an adolescent foolish gal, well as it turns out I’m not. I’m 19, actually. But this isn’t about me and my short dark-blond hair or dark-brown eyes. This is about, Tyler Woodland, that was his name, the 18 year-old who crossed paths with me on that May the 6^th at mid-morning.

 He had something in him, how he walked, how he carried himself with that carelessness, he wasn’t my type entirely, if I ever had a type of guy before him. But what I’m trying to say is that he had that kind of: IT factor, that I still can’t quite describe, he had a uniqueness so different from the other boys in town, not that there were that many anyways.

 

  Did I mention it’s a small town? Let me elaborate, have you seen that old show called Gilmore Girls? Well, where I live it is something like Stars Hollow, and if you have no clue what I’m talking about, then you can picture it all with this: it has one main street, multiple cross-roads and everyone knows everyone. Except for Tyler, he had moved in a year-ago or so. Back then, I was too involved in getting my degree from school, working on my free time and I actually did not look past my bubble to notice him.

 

  But after that Sunday, I waited like a fool for another glimpse of him, I asked his name in the most decent way I could, at dinner Sunday night: “So what was the name of those new people, who moved in last year?” I asked my uncle, he stared at me with his fork mid-way to his mouth full of rice and grilled chicken with kale, healthy, remember?

“Why?” He asked me taking his bite, I wanted to make a face but took a sip of my orange juice instead.

“Because, I’m a curious person,” I lied with an innocent smile.

“Right,” he drawled studying me for a moment, I actually felt in that instant as if I was in an interrogation room. “Woodland,” he said, I wanted to kick him under the table for a moment, he smiled knowingly and I restrained, barely; “Ted, Marianne, Tyler, their son,” he emphasized, I merely stared at him without expression or so I hoped, maybe I wasn’t subtle at all but at the time I believed I was, “and little Rachelle,” he finished. “Did that satisfy your sudden curiosity?” Uncle Clarence questioned me with his clear brown eyes.

“Very,” I replied.

“Alright then,” I realize now that he, of course, knew something was up. Heck! He had raised me since I was 10, when my dad died rather suddenly when that river overflowed, so yes my uncle took care of little me without hesitation and hence he knew me.

 

  And my mom, well. She left me here when I was two. I do not even know if she’s alive, maybe she is, in some penthouse in France, Italy or China, lord knows. I have enough in my plate as it is, like leaving this town, make a name of myself then comeback and buy my uncle all he wants in thanks.

 

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The Complete EBook can be found at

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/527895

  

Author's Note

What do you think so far? Would you like to have more of this story?

Reviews

[CC Faye]

To start my review. I'm going to say things first.
Font and size.
I supposed the story was not revised because it had too many errors that makes it hard for readers to understand, also I had to skip a lot of paragraphs because it's too long.
You should make the story reader-friendly.
There are a lot of confusing sentences, grammar errors and a very rushed story.
You should add more scenes where the main character and the girl are together. It seemed a bit rushed and I didn't feel the love.
Also, it's quite odd to have your main character meet the girl and have sex in the next scene?
The story contained originality, and before you posted it you should proofread and edit first.
The background story was just right, but because of the story's rushed ending, I didn't feel a strong relationship between the two characters.
The last sentence was very different from the story. It sounded like it contained a S and M relationship, because the guy said that he was not letting her get away.
If this was a little mature story, you should indicate it on the author's note, since I have no idea what the story was.
Also, if this was a short story, why does it contain pov's?
If you wanted to have a pov, you should be able to split this into chapters, or not indicate a pov in a short story. Every short story can only have one person story telling, not two.
Overall, needs more improvement, but it's a good story. Forgive me if I critiqued it too much.

[Sela]

Yes, it had errors, sorry about that. When you read it I was in the process of editing the story once again since I first published it, since I really hadn't the time before. There wasn't any SM intention, it was supposed to be fast and to the point, most short stories are. They did not have sex after they met, it was heading that way because of hormones, in fact they didn't sleep together at all. It has POVs because I wanted to let the reader know what they both thought and how neither wanted to be away from each other rather like the routine it was inspired from, the one performed in SYTYCD season 11 episode 7, even if the female character is slightly different from what Travis Wall wanted. I really appreciate the review, it is good to know what everyone thinks.

[Mila]

Hey! I think the plot of it is strong and original and I really enjoyed this!
One thing I'd like to point out is that to be careful of the amount of commas you use to break your sentences. Sometimes you don't want to have too many just ot keep the sentence going. If you think that it would be sufficient to split it into two sentences then go for it! Commas are a crutch I fall back on pretty often myself; it sometimes comes from re-reading your words and seeing where it would be more comfortable to have a break. They're a godsend but, too, many, can, make, it, seem, sloppy.
Your story flows really well and your use of words is impeccable. Well done :)

[Sela]

Hello! I know what you mean with the Commas, I might have gotten a bit carried away with them, and since I'm not used to the quotation marks because english isn't my native language, well that was the result but in any case, thank you for reading =)

[Stacey]

Hello, I just wanted to say I really enjoyed your story. I liked the general plot very much. I had someone who I thought was the one and he got away. I'm not exactly in love with him anymore. February was a sad month for me. But now, I'm over him and I'm ready to find someone else. Great job on the story.

Cheers,

Staceyanna

[Sela]

Hi, thank you for reading. I'll try to deliver more like this one.