An urge of love

This one is for a girl in my college...I need you to be with me forever:)

New day new world,
but a face was so familiar,
which seemed too close,
but buried under world's rituals,
and I know I have something,
in me and deep,
which urges for her,
to be with me,
forever or till I exist...

Does she know what I have,
in my heart just for her,
or does she know how I have,
in my dreams thirst for her...

Oh! somebody do melt the ice,
and let my wings spread in sun,
to cheer for her,
to care for her...

Few days has passed,
but I've been all numb,
for my senses go for toss,
when my eyes see her cross,
and soon I hope I vomit,
before someone else would spin it...

Author's Note

This is a usual poem which i wrote with a single flow....valuable comments are always welcomed:)

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

somebody melt the ice. Yes. powerful write

[Manpreet]

A very well written piece with lovely word use!

[Renée]

I love reading mens situations regarding love...lucky girl ! unfortunately I am not a pro when it comes to leaving hints to better ones work...

[$êlvån]

tanx 4 ur lovely review........

[Shay]

wow this is amazing. i love the wording of all the line but he third stanza was my favorite.

[Pax]

bitter sweet!

[Leslie Philibert]

What I like is the last two lines, a really strong image for a love poem, and unusual, unrequited love can make you physically sick with tension, and this, with the spin image make this an original write, good work.

[$êlvån]

thanks 4 ur lovely review....it made a smile....:)

[Dayran]

I think she may be quite keen about letting you care for her but I believe she wants you to remember first, how well she cared for you.

[caesarkreshen]

I wonder if my comment will be valuable.

Think there are a lot of excess filler words in this.

There are some good (albeit very loose) slant rhymes in here. Like just/thirst

Definitely is a backbone, but it seems like there aren't a lot of lines that make someone either empathize with you or, if they were a girl, wish they were this girl.