Ghost

The walls all creak
And the violent wind howls
The outside is dark and bleak Illumed by the eyes of owls
Tonight's the night
The night they will come.
There's no way I can fight,
In their presence I grow numb.
From my past
the shadows haunt me
they'll stay till night's passed
Whilst giggling with maniacal glee.

Author's Note

What did you think of it as a whole. Did it need any changes? (I still haven't finished this poem yet, but any advice you have on it is greatly appreciated!)

Reviews

[emipoemi]

"Illumed" is a shorter, more poetic way of saying "illuminated" and "There's no way I can fight" (no "that")....those notes help the musicality. This poem is otherwise enjoyably gripping. Well done!

[Sam]

Thank you!

[Sam]

As usual your advice is very helpful!!!

[emipoemi]

glad I could be of service.

[ImSJ]

Why is Outside capitalized? Needs some more work but could turn out better. Sub "walls" for "boards"? Rolls by better. Right? "Illuminated by the eyes of owls" is a good line. What's so special about this night? What happened in the past? Why are the shadows that the speaker can't fight just giggling?

[Sam]

Thanks for the tips! This poem was originaly a joke for a friend. That I had decided to post, so It's not quit finished. (Probably should have put that in the authors note.) thanks for the help, it is definitely appreciated!

[Mr.Writer]

My, I think it's very well done Sam!
I enjoyed the rhymes and I felt really engaged while reading this!
Keep it up!

[Sam]

Thank you!